When kids come in hot, it can be tempting to match their intensity—raise your voice, react quickly, try to shut things down fast.

But meeting fire with fire rarely helps. It escalates the moment and leaves everyone feeling more overwhelmed than before.

What does help is something quieter and more intentional: a clear, grounded response that slows the moment down instead of turning up the heat. This kind of response supports emotional regulation in kids as they learn how to navigate stress, frustration, and big feelings.

Why Reactions Escalate

All kids experience moments when emotions run high. When that happens, their nervous systems can shift into survival mode, making it harder to think clearly, communicate, or pause before reacting.

If adults respond with urgency, sharpness, or intensity, it can signal that the situation is unsafe or out of control. The result is often more escalation, not less.

A regulated adult response helps bring stability back into the moment—giving kids the space they need to regain control.

What Intention Looks Like in Practice: Boundary, Validation, and Empathy

Responding with intention doesn’t mean ignoring behavior or lowering expectations. It means holding boundaries while staying calm and connected.

Here’s what that can look like in real time:

Each piece serves a purpose.

• The boundary provides clarity and safety.
• Validation acknowledges the child’s emotional experience.
• Empathy helps calm the nervous system by signaling understanding.

Together, they slow the moment down and reduce the likelihood of escalation.

Why This Matters Beyond the Moment

When adults respond this way consistently, kids aren’t just getting through a hard moment—they’re building skills they’ll use throughout their lives.

They’re learning how to pause before reacting.

They’re learning how to communicate when emotions are high.

They’re learning that difficult feelings don’t have to derail relationships or outcomes.

These emotional regulation skills show up at school, in conflict, and later in adulthood. They help frustration slow down instead of turning into shutdown or aggression.

The Power of Modeling

Kids don’t learn emotional regulation because we tell them to “calm down.” They learn it by watching how the adults around them respond when things get hard.

When adults slow themselves down, kids are more likely to do the same.

Meeting intensity with intention isn’t passive. It’s purposeful. It’s choosing responses that protect connection, build skills, and create space for growth.

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Want to know an easy trick to reduce power struggles, build trust, and teach kids healthy decision-making skills? It starts with saying yes!

That might sound backwards. Parents spend a lot of time saying no to keep kids safe and on track. But the way we say no often sparks the very battles we’re trying to avoid. A slight shift in language can protect the boundary and keep the relationship steady.

Check out the graphic below to see how a simple change in wording can help you set limits while giving kids a path forward.

Why “Finding the Yes” Works

Kids have very little control over their daily lives. Adults decide when they wake up, where they go, what they eat, and how they spend their time. That lack of control can show up as arguing, stalling, or big reactions to small requests.

When we only say no, kids hear a door slam shut—when we “find the yes,” we leave a door open.

The boundary stays the same, but the message changes from:

“You can’t” → to → “Here’s how you can.”

That difference helps kids feel empowered instead of powerless.

What This Teaches Children

This approach does more than stop a meltdown in the moment. It builds skills kids will use for life:

• How to handle limits without losing connection
• How to make choices within boundaries
• How to delay gratification
• How to solve problems instead of digging in

How to Try It Today

Here’s how to try the “find the yes” technique today:

1. Hold the boundary.

You don’t need to give in to be kind.

2. Offer a path to yes.

Tell your child what can happen and when.

3. Keep your tone steady.

The magic is in calm, confident delivery.

Remember, even one sentence can change the direction of an interaction.

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Anxiety can show up quietly—or it can hit all at once.

Your thoughts start racing.
Your body feels tense.
Small worries suddenly feel overwhelming.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Anxiety is one of the most common mental health conditions in the United States, affecting millions of adults, teens, and children each year.

The good news? There are practical ways to calm your mind, reduce stress, and regain a sense of steadiness, even in the middle of challenging moments.

How to Tame Anxiety

Here are three simple, effective ways to tame anxiety.

1. Challenge Anxious Thoughts

Anxiety often grows from thoughts that feel true but aren’t accurate.

When worry takes over, the mind tends to jump to worst-case scenarios, assume negative outcomes, and become far more critical than it would be toward anyone else.

Common anxious thinking patterns include:

• Seeing situations in black-and-white
• Letting one tough moment define everything
• Assuming you know what others think
• Focusing only on what went wrong
• Expecting the worst to happen

When anxious thoughts show up, pause and gently ask:

• Is this thought based on facts or fear?
• Would this make sense if a friend said it out loud?
• Is there another possible explanation?

Questioning anxious thoughts doesn’t make problems disappear, but it can take away some of their power.

Learn More: Cognitive Distortions: 15 Examples & Worksheets

2. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness helps bring attention back to the present moment—where steadiness, clarity, and control live.

To start:

1. Notice thoughts instead of fighting them.
2. Focus on breathing and how the body feels.
3. Gently guide attention back when the mind wanders.

Mindfulness isn’t about emptying the mind—it’s about learning to observe thoughts without letting them control the day.

Learn More: Mindfulness for Anxiety: How It Works & Techniques to Try

3. Release Nervous Energy

Anxiety affects both the mind and the body. Movement helps release tension and reset the nervous system.

Helpful ways to move include:

• Walking
• Stretching
• Climbing stairs
• Playing outside
• Short workouts

Even a few minutes of movement can make anxious feelings feel more manageable.

Learn More: Can exercise help treat anxiety?

When to Reach Out

When anxiety starts affecting work, school, sleep, or daily routines, professional support can make a difference.

If you have a child who is struggling, YBGR can help.

We deliver children’s mental health care across Montana to help kids navigate anxiety and other mental and behavioral health challenges.

Learn more about our full range of services. Then, contact us online to get started.

Want More?

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Few are born to lead. Instead, we acquire leadership skills throughout our professional journey. Everything from mindset to emotional intelligence and sound decision-making capabilities play into our capacity to guide others successfully.

Below are fourteen quotes to help you buff up your leadership skills.

Quotes to Grow Your Leadership Skills

Quote 1: Be open-minded. Embrace being wrong. Free yourself of preconceptions. Talk less, listen more. Question everything, even yourself. – Karen Salmansohn

Quote 2: When you hear only what you want to hear, you’re not listening. When you read only to confirm what you know, you’re not learning. Stretch yourself. That’s how you grow. – Marc & Angel

Quote 3: Always be teachable. You are not always right. There is always something to be learned. – Lauren Fortenberry

Quote 4: The mind is like water. When it’s turbulent, it’s challenging to see. When it’s calm, everything becomes clear. – Prasad Mahes

Quote 5: He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still. – Lao Tzu

Quote 6: Explain your anger instead of expressing it, and you will open the door to solutions instead of arguments. – Ruth Ghatourey

Quote 7: 10% of conflict is due to differences in opinion, and 90% is due to delivery and tone of voice. – @masteringlawofattraction

Quote 8: I can respect any person who can put their ego aside and say, I made a mistake, I apologize, and I am correcting the behavior. – Sylvester McNutt

Quote 9: The highest form of knowledge is empathy, for it requires us to suspend our egos and live in another’s world. – Plato

Quote 10: Compassionate people ask for what they need. They say no when they need to, and when they say yes, they mean it. They are compassionate because their boundaries keep them out of resentment. – Brene Brown

Quote 11: When you find yourself in situations of impossible demands, choose relationships first. – Sarah Boyd

Quote 12: Your gifts, leadership, purpose—none of it is about you. Instead, a life of significance is about serving others. It’s about guiding those who need your talents—those gifts, that leadership, and purpose. – Kevin Hall

Quote 13: If we are not a little bit uncomfortable every day, we’re not growing. All the good stuff is outside our comfort zone. – Jack Canfield

Quote 14: There are no limits to what you can accomplish, except the limits you place on your own thinking. – Brian Tracy

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Are you looking for the secret formula for raising strong kids? You’re in the right place—because the answer is simpler than most people realize.

Parenting is about connection.

The relationship you build with your child shapes the way they learn, grow, and understand themselves. Connection helps kids feel secure and open to guidance—and it becomes the foundation for every future relationship they have.

Below are fifteen powerful quotes about parenting with connection to raise strong, confident kids.

Quotes on Parenting Connection for Raising Strong Kids

Quote 1: The relationship you have with your child shapes the structure and function of their brain. – Dr. Dan Siegel

Quote 2: Kids learn best when they like their teacher and when they think their teacher likes them. – Gordon Neufeld

Quote 3: If you don’t listen eagerly to the little stuff when they’re little, they won’t tell you the big stuff when they’re big because to them, all of it has always been big stuff. – C.M. Wallace

Quote 4: Our goal with kids is to maintain a connection with their hearts while teaching skills, boundaries, & behavior. If we lose their heart during the process, nothing else will matter. – Sarah Boyd

Quote 5: If kids can trust you with the little stuff, they will come to you with the big stuff. – Dr. Laura Markham

Quote 6: Children don’t just need to be loved. They need to know that nothing they do will change the fact that they’re loved. – Alfie Kohn

Quote 7: Connection is a child’s deepest need and a parent’s highest influence. – Lelia Schott

Quote 8: You can have the best wisdom to share with your child but without a connected relationship, they won’t hear it. When they feel seen, then they can hear. – @The_Therapist_Parent

Quote 9: It turns out that what you’re mostly looking for as a parent is influence, not control. – Ross Greene

Quote 10: What matters most? It’s not the rules. It’s the conversations we have with our kids about the rules we make. – Dr. Lisa Damour

Quote 11: As a child, I just needed to know someone was on my side without having to work so hard to prove myself. – Big Little Feelings

Quote 12: I never want my kids to mess up and think, “Dad’s going to kill me.” Instead, I want their first thought to be, “I need to call my dad.” – Unknown

Quote 13: If your children fear you, they cannot trust you. If they do not trust you, they cannot learn from you. – Lori Petro

Quote 14: When we apologize and repair, we teach our kids how to make amends when they make mistakes in relationships. – Tina Payne Bryson

Quote 15: If children feel safe, they take risks, ask questions, make mistakes, learn to trust, share their feelings, and grow. – Alfie Kohn

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Who doesn’t love the holidays? The shimmering lights, family gatherings, sweet treats, fireworks, and the sparkle of joy on kids’ faces as they tear open gifts on a cold December morning.

But as any parent knows, that magic doesn’t just happen—it takes work. And when you pile holiday preparations on top of an already full plate, caregiver burnout can creep in fast.

What Is Caregiver Burnout?

Caregiver burnout is the emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion that comes from caring for others while neglecting your own needs. It can show up as irritability, fatigue, headaches, sleep issues, or feeling detached from those you love.

Symptoms of Caregiver Burnout

• A change in attitude from feeling loving to feeling negative and unconcerned
• Withdrawing from friends and family
• Losing interest in things you previously enjoyed
• Feeling crabby, hopeless, helpless, and exhausted
• Changes in eating habits and body weight
• Different sleep patterns.
• Feeling under the weather or getting sick often

Do any of these sound familiar? If so, you’re not alone.

Many parents say the holiday season brings high levels of stress—and that tension can spill over, dimming the joy for you and your kids.

How to Prevent Caregiver Burnout During the Holidays

Most of us juggle multiple roles—parent, partner, professional, friend—and adding “holiday planner” to the list can feel like too much. Below are a few ways to reduce holiday stress and protect your well-being.

Ask for help.

You don’t have to do it all. Let others lend a hand—whether that’s asking a friend to bring dessert, a partner to take over bedtime, or a grandparent to host one event this year.

Don’t overdo it.

Perfection isn’t the goal—connection is. Simplify traditions, say no when needed, and focus on what truly matters to your family.

Talk it out.

When stress builds, share what’s on your mind. Sometimes a simple conversation with someone you trust can lighten the emotional load.

Take a break.

Rest isn’t indulgent—it’s essential. Step away for a quiet walk, schedule a sitter, or carve out an evening to unwind and recharge.

Seek professional support if you need it.

If your exhaustion lingers for more than two weeks and rest doesn’t help, it may be time to talk with a doctor or therapist. You don’t have to navigate burnout alone.

You’re Not Just a Caregiver—You’re Human

This season, give yourself permission to slow down and savor what really counts. A calmer, more present you is the best gift your family could ask for.

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Every day, we navigate important conversations—with coworkers, friends, and family members. Some are easy, while others require us to slow down, listen deeply, and respond with care.

Our ability to self-regulate and remain emotionally grounded plays a critical role in how effectively we communicate. To truly be present with others, we need to create a safe emotional climate, both within ourselves and in the environment around us.

How to Create Space for Important Conversations

Below are six ways you can create a safe space for important conversations with others.

Be Transparent About Your Limitations

When people know what to expect, they feel more comfortable opening up. Be upfront about your time or focus so the other person knows you’re present within clear boundaries.

“Thank you so much for coming in. I do have a meeting at 11:00, but that still gives us a good chunk of time to chat. What’s up?”

Transparency builds trust. It communicates that you value the other person’s time while being honest about your own.

Be Consistent and Predictable

Predictability creates safety. When others can anticipate how you’ll respond, they’re less likely to feel anxious or defensive.

Speak in an even, calm tone—what we like to call your “DJ voice.” Steady, low, and measured speech signals that you’re approachable and in control, even in emotionally charged moments.

Mind Your Demeanor

Words matter, but nonverbal cues often speak louder. Notice your body language.

Unclench your jaw, relax your shoulders, and soften your eyes. A calm, open posture communicates empathy and emotional steadiness before you even say a word.

Prepare Before Important Meetings

Take five to ten minutes before meetings or conversations to transition out of what you were working on. Ground yourself with a few deep breaths, clear your mind, and set an intention for the discussion.

That slight pause helps you show up mentally and emotionally present—not distracted or reactive.

Know When to Reschedule

If you’re not in the right frame of mind, it’s okay to hit pause. Going into a tough conversation while stressed or preoccupied rarely leads to connection.

Rescheduling isn’t avoidance—it’s respect. It ensures you can give the other person your full attention when it truly matters.

Creating a Culture of Safety

Emotional safety begins with self-awareness. When we take the time to regulate ourselves first, we make space for understanding, empathy, and trust to grow. Whether at home, in the workplace, or within our teams, safe conversations start with grounded people.

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Are you looking for ways to help kids with ADHD thrive? Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a neurological condition that affects how children think, learn, and connect with the world around them.

More than six million kids in the United States live with ADHD, and understanding how it shapes their experiences is key to helping them reach their full potential.

Keep reading for ways to support kids living with ADHD, and check out our blog post, 16 Quotes That Illustrate ADHD, for more perspective on the diagnosis.

Quotes on How to Help Kids with ADHD Thrive

Quote 1: Kids do well if they can. If they aren’t doing well, it means there’s a barrier between effort and success that must be addressed. – Dr. Ross Greene

Quote 2: I am always open to communication, but I need to hear positive comments about my son as well. – ADDitude Magazine

Quote 3: Ask students to set small achievable learning goals so they can experience success. – ADDitude Magazine

Quote 4: The key is pushing kids past their comfort zone but not so far that they feel overwhelmed. – ADDitude Magazine

Quote 5: Multi-step directions are counterproductive. There is just too much information to take in and retain. – ADDitude Magazine

Quote 6: Research shows that distractible kids need to fidget in order to focus. – ADDitude Magazine

Quote 7: The more of my senses you address, the more engaged I will be in learning. – ADDitude Magazine

Quote 8: Teach students to write down questions that occur to them during “silent time.” – ADDitude Magazine

Quote 9: Delayed consequences, such as detention, don’t work for kids with ADHD. – ADDitude Magazine

Quote 10: Don’t assign homework as a punishment or consequence for misbehavior at school. – ADDitude Magazine

Quote 11: Research shows that music helps the ADHD brain organize time and space, aiding in learning and memory. – ADDitude Magazine

Quote 12: Choice increases motivation, and motivation increases learning. – ADDitude Magazine

Quote 13: Provide opportunities for kids to show divergent, creative, and imaginative thinking—and to receive recognition for that originality. – ADDitude Magazine

Quote 14: The best teacher for a child with ADHD is one who celebrates and works with their student’s creativity, energy, and curiosity. – ADDitude Magazine

Quote 15: Success at school is the single more therapeutic thing a child can experience. – Chris Ziegler Deny, M.S.

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Have you heard of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)? It’s a neurodevelopmental condition that affects how a person thinks, learns, and behaves.

Below are details about the condition, the strengths that often accompany it, and quotes that capture what it’s like to live with ADHD.

Hallmark symptoms include:

Inattentive Type

• Trouble paying attention (easily sidetracked)
• Doesn’t like or avoids long mental tasks (such as homework)
• Trouble staying on task during school, at home, or even at play
• Disorganized and seems forgetful
• Doesn’t appear to listen when directly spoken to
• Doesn’t pay close attention to details
• Loses things often
• Makes careless mistakes
• Struggles to follow through with instructions

Hyperactive/Impulsive Type

• Blurting out answers before a question is finished
• Frequently interrupting others
• Trouble waiting for their turn
• Talks too much
• Fidgeting, tapping, and squirming
• Gets up when it’s not appropriate (such as when the teacher is talking or in the middle of dinner)
• Running or climbing in inappropriate situations.
• Unable to play quietly
• Always “on the go.”

Kids with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder present predominantly with inattentive, hyperactive/impulsive, or, most frequently, a combination of symptoms.

It often coexists with learning, autism spectrum, anxiety, and mood disorders, and children exposed to trauma may be misdiagnosed with the condition.

Children with ADHD think differently and have a host of strengths.

16 Quotes Illustrating ADHD

Below are sixteen quotes that paint a portrait of what life is like for kids living with ADHD.

Quote 1: Only a small fraction of children with ADHD demonstrate outwardly hyperactive symptoms. – ADDitude Magazine

Quote 2: Anyone who exhibits the classic symptoms of ADHD will have difficulty with all or most of the seven core executive functions. – Russell Barkley, Ph.D.

Quote 3: Even mild stress floods the prefrontal cortex with dopamine, essentially taking it offline. – Adele Diamond, Ph.D.

Quote 4: Many kids with ADHD shut down when overwhelmed. They may act out when confronted with meeting parental expectations, like cleaning their room, as they have no idea how to start and finish. – ADDitude Magazine

Quote 5: Repeated bouts of fear, frustration and failure in school create stress that is neurologically damaging. – Jerome Scultz, Ph.D.

Quote 6: A lot of kids will develop poor self-esteem related to the symptoms of ADHD. – Perri Klass, M.D. & Eileen Costello, M.D.

Quote 7: Teens with ADHD often have a deep-seated fear of failure that can look like a problem with motivation. – Rick Fiery, M.S.

Quote 8: Many boys with social anxiety retreat into a virtual world of gaming because it is safer and easier than possibly facing rejection from peers. – Ryan Wexelblatt, LCSW

Quote 9: The way ADHD often expresses itself in girls—excessive talking, poor self-esteem, worrying, perfectionism—is seldom read as such. – ADDitude Magazine

Quote 10: Executive function challenges are often mistaken for disobedience, laziness, defiance, or apathy. – Chris Zeigler Dendy, M.S.

Quote 11: For kids with ADHD, poor behavior usually blossoms from a skill deficit. – ADDitude Magazine

Quote 12: Children with ADHD have lower brain arousal; this decreases their ability to screen out distractions. – ADDitude Magazine

Quote 13: For kids with undiagnosed dyslexia, everyday schooling is like being taught in a foreign language. – Roberto Olivardia, Ph.D.

Quote 14: Auditory processing disorder may impair auditory discrimination, listening in noisy environments, and recalling what you’ve heard and the sequence of words spoken. – ADDitude Magazine

Quote 15: Kids do well if they can. If they aren’t doing well, it means there’s a barrier between effort and success that must be addressed. – Dr. Ross Greene

Quote 16: Success at school is the single more therapeutic thing a child can experience. – Chris Ziegler Deny, M.S.

How to Help Kids with ADHD Thrive

Read the blog below for tips on how to support kids with ADHD.

Learn More: How to Help Kids with ADHD Thrive

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Suicide is a tragedy of epic proportions. To paint a picture, in 2023, 49,316 Americans took their own life. Overall, it’s the 10th leading cause of death in the United States and the 2nd for youth between the ages of 10 and 24.

September is Suicide Prevention Month, and we want to shed light on this critical topic because education saves lives. Today, we’re taking a deep dive into prevention strategies.

Addressing Suicide Through Systemwide Prevention

Preventing suicide requires more than individual action—it takes coordinated efforts across communities and systems. Below are key strategies that can make a life-saving difference.

Identify & Assist Persons at Risk

The first step in preventing suicide is to identify populations at risk. Then, educate the people who work with them on suicide warning signs and intervention strategies, so they’re empowered to save lives.

Breakdown Stigma

Data reflects 1 in 5 people struggle with their mental health. Yet, because of stigma, few will reach out for support. Sadly, 90% of those who complete suicide are grappling with mental health conditions at the time of their death.

Public awareness campaigns and education can reduce barriers to seeking treatment, ultimately helping individuals receive life-saving support.

Organizational Linkages & Seamless Transitional Care

There’s no question that when organizations communicate and work together to wrap around the people they serve, it equates to excellent client care. In essence, it serves as a buffer, ensuring no suicide warning signs are missed and that people move seamlessly between different levels of care.

Create Systems to Respond to People in Crisis

Putting systems in place for those in crisis is essential and is not limited to mental health. Everything from emergency shelters to food stamps, and of course, mental health crisis call centers play a critical hand in preventing suicide.

Encourage Social Connectedness

Social isolation is a significant risk factor for suicide. Thus, communities that create systems to foster social connections can significantly reduce risk. Free community events, volunteer programs, and support groups are all great ways to bring people together.

Together, We Can Save Lives

Suicide prevention isn’t just about one program or one conversation—it’s about building communities where no one falls through the cracks. When we dismantle stigma, strengthen support systems, and foster connection, we create the conditions where hope has a chance to grow.

Learn More: A Comprehensive Approach to Suicide Prevention

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In the United States, roughly 135 people die by suicide every day. And for every life lost, countless others are left in the wake, making the magnitude of grief and loss at the hands of this tragedy astronomical.

September is Suicide Prevention Month. To honor it, we’re exploring the topic of suicide because education saves lives. Today, we’re taking a closer look at how to support suicide survivors.

Listen to the TED Talk below, where psychologist Erica Lennon brings attention to suicide and shares her experience of losing a client to it.

The truth is, nearly all of us have been affected by suicide. It’s a common tragedy that we don’t often speak openly about.

Intimate survivors are often riddled with guilt and complex feelings of grief, which makes navigating support all the more difficult for people closely involved.

What Sets Suicide Grief Apart from Other Losses

In addition to typical feelings associated with grief and loss, survivors of suicide often grapple with the following:

Stigma & Isolation

Talking about suicide can be challenging for survivors because of differing cultural and religious viewpoints, leading to conflicting emotions and difficulties navigating conversations on the topic.

Mixed Emotions

When death is by suicide, people often mourn the loss and hold intense feelings surrounding the circumstances of the death. Emotions such as anger and feelings of abandonment and rejection can all occur after a suicide, alongside positive feelings about the deceased. Sorting through all of these various emotions can make the healing process more challenging.

Needing to Understand Why

Searching to understand the circumstances of losing someone to suicide can lead to the question of “Why?” As a result, people may second-guess actions, hold feelings of guilt, and wonder if they missed signs or could have done something different to prevent the tragedy.

Loss by suicide increases the risk for suicide among survivors.

5 Ways to Support Someone After a Suicide Loss

Below are five ways you can support someone who’s experienced loss by suicide.

Promote Self-Care

Healing takes time and starts with self-care. Encourage those grieving to engage in activities that promote wellness.

Offer Resources

Be prepared to provide resources such as local support groups, mental health professionals, and self-help options.

Engage in Conversation

Often, people are uncomfortable broaching the topic of grief because they don’t want to remind survivors of their loss. Believe us when we say they didn’t forget—offer a non-judgmental listening ear and validate feelings.

Help Them Speak Out About Suicide

If they’re comfortable with it, speaking out about suicide, sharing their story, and spreading awareness can promote healing.

Encourage Professional Support

Survivors are at significant risk for mental health conditions and suicide. Encouraging professional support can mitigate this and help them navigate loss.

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Parenting is a journey filled with challenges, growth, and meaningful moments. To support you along the way, we’ve gathered eighteen powerful quotes on purposeful parenting—designed to guide, inspire, and encourage you no matter where you are on the path.

Purposeful Parenting Quotes

Quote 1: Children don’t say, “I had a hard day, can we talk?” They say, “Will you play with me?” – Lawrence Cohen

Quote 2: Too often, we forget that discipline really means to teach, not to punish. A disciple is a student, not a recipient of behavioral consequences. – Daniel J. Siegel

Quote 3: If you want your child to improve, focus on their strengths more than their weaknesses. – Unknown

Quote 4: Every child’s behavior is telling us something. Our job is to see the behavior as information, not aggravation. – Unknown

Quote 5: If your children fear you, they cannot trust you. If they do not trust you, they cannot learn from you. – Lori Petro

Quote 6: Children behave best when they feel most loved. Shame isn’t a strategy to encourage good behavior; it leads to compliance and then to rebellion. – Sarah Boyd

Quote 7: A parent’s voice becomes a child’s self-talk. Let’s wire our kids for self-compassion, not self-criticism. – Unknown

Quote 8: Respond to your children with love in their worst moments, their broken moments, their angry moments, their selfish moments, their lonely moments, their frustrated moments, their inconvenient moments. Because it is in their most unlovable human moments that they most need to feel loved. – L.R. Knost

Quote 9: Our kids are counting on us to provide two things: consistency and structure. Kids need parents who say what they mean, mean what they say, and do what they say they are going to do. – Barbara Coloroso

Quote 10: Parents who pay attention can avoid power struggles, even with strong-willed kids, by empathizing as they set limits, give choices, and understand that respect goes both ways. – Dr. Laura Markham

Quote 11: “No” is not a complete thought. If we want our children to learn to think like adults, we need to explain our adult thinking. Don’t command. Communicate. – L.R. Knost

Quote 12: We teach our kids how honest they can be with us based on how we react when they tell us things we don’t want to hear. – Susan Stiffleman

Quote 13: If we want to stop our child’s aggression, we have to stop focusing on the behavior and respond to their feelings. – Sarah Rosensweet

Quote 14: Hitting a child doesn’t teach them that the stove or the road or the outlet isn’t safe. It teaches them that the person hitting them isn’t safe. – L.R. Knost

Quote 15: When a child is upset, logic often won’t work until we have responded to the right brain’s emotional needs. – Dr. Dan Siegel

Quote 16: Our children need to know that mistakes are okay, imperfections are normal, and failure is just a step on the path to success. – L.R. Knost

Quote 17: It’s not our job to make our kids happy. They’re allowed to be upset, sad, and feel however they feel. It’s our job to hold space for all their feelings so they don’t feel alone in their distress. – Blimie Heller

Quote 18: Being harder on our children doesn’t make them stronger. People are strengthened through compassion and understanding. No matter their age or gender. – Lelia Schott

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Have you ever witnessed the storm—the choppy waters of a child’s big emotions? Of course! Like us, our little ones are human—experiencing the full spectrum of emotions. But unlike us, their brains are still developing the skills to navigate and cope.

In moments when kids are experiencing immense, turbulent feelings, they look to us for safety. To be the calm gently guiding them through their storm—the anchor in their waves.

Children learn emotional regulation through our regulated presence. Simply put, we learn to self-soothe through thousands of instances of being soothed by someone else.

Below are seventeen quotes on emotional regulation—on being the calm in our kids’ storm.

Quotes on Being the Calm in Our Kids’ Storm

Quote 1: A child can’t think logically when they are anxious, and they definitely can’t learn. Helping them calm has to be the priority. – Inspired by Krysten Taprell, @the_therapist_parent

When kids become flooded with emotion, logical thinking takes a backseat. Our primary focus must be to soothe—sharing our calm.

Hold space and validate feelings. Then, once strong emotions such as anxiety have subsided, we can effectively teach.

Quote 2: When kids’ emotions are high, their logic and language are low. So, in a meltdown, don’t reason with them. Connect. Hold space. Be. – Stephanie Pinto

When children are experiencing big emotions, it’s not the time for reasoning or a lecture. Attend to their feelings first. Then, after they have calmed, you can effectively coach them.

Quote 3: We go into the fear zone when a child is dysregulated, self-harms, or makes threats. When afraid, we back-peddle and give kids more choices and power. But in these moments, kids need the opposite. They need to feel safe, secure, and contained. – Inspired by Krissy Pozatek

When dysregulated, kids need safety, security, and boundaries that provide comfort. Be their safe haven—the anchor in their storm.

Quote 4: As a mom, I could feed my child’s anxiety, or I could feed their peace. We set the temperature for our kids. – Beth Moore

We hold the power to shape our children’s emotional well-being. Remember—we set the tone. Feed their peace.

Quote 5: Your child can’t lead you into their chaos. You must lead them out of theirs. – @dr.siggie

Our children need us to be a calm, steady force—especially during times when they are experiencing turbulent emotions.

Quote 6: When I’m not sure how to support my child, I focus on my own regulation. – @responsive_parenting

When you don’t know how to best support your kids, try turning inward.

By noticing, understanding, and regulating our emotions, we can better provide the calm and stability our children need—approaching parenting with a more centered, grounded perspective.

Quote 7: My job as a parent isn’t to control my child’s emotions. My job as a parent is to control my own. – Shelly Robinson

We can’t control our children’s feelings, but we can teach them how to navigate them by how we navigate our own. And in doing so, we can better provide a safe, supportive environment for them to grow.

Quote 8: Children pick up on our emotional tone milliseconds before processing our words. And that emotional tone conveys cues of safety or threat, regardless of what we’re trying to communicate. – Adopted from Dr. Dan Siegel

Our kids are always listening, not just to our words but to the emotions behind them. Create a safe, nurturing environment—one where children feel loved and protected.

Quote 9: If you want to support your child’s emotional health, you need to take care of your own emotions. Your tone, energy, and overall emotional presence serve as your child’s emotional guidepost. – Inspired by Angela Pruess

Our wellness shapes our children’s wellness. Caring for ourselves is an act of love—for both us and our little ones.

Quote 10: Our responses influence our children’s behavior. A slight shift in our communication from defensive to proactive can make all the difference in shaping their stress response. – Lori Petro

Parenting isn’t just about our kid’s behavior; it’s also about our own. The energy we put out can either fuel their fire or calm their storm. Emotions feed off emotions.

Quote 11: Our confidence has the power to weaken the fear that our children experience. – @parenting_pathfinders

Our confidence is a mighty force—weakening the grip of fear our kid’s experience. When we embody self-assurance, we impart a sense of safety and security.

Quote 12: The goal is NOT to never get triggered. You’re human. You will get triggered sometimes. The goal is to learn to regulate and respond to those triggers with intention. – @the.peaceful.mother

A trigger is anything that sets you off emotionally and activates memories of trauma. It’s particular to you and what your experiences have been.

Triggers may include feeling:

• Powerless
• Judged
• Unheard
• Unsafe
• Disrespected
• Unloved
• Controlled

Our ability to navigate triggers and the emotions springing from them is tied to our ability to understand feelings, where they come from, and tolerate the sensations that arise when we experience them.

When we create space for ourselves to do this, we’re better able to create space for our kids.

Quote 13: Teaching a child to shut down their emotions does not make them calm. It makes them numb. Calmness is a skill that develops after a child has learned to feel their emotions, not ignore them. – Inspired by Eli Harwood

Calmness is not achieved by shutting down our feelings but by learning to navigate and regulate the storm within.

Quote 14: Peaceful parenting isn’t about your ability to stop feeling what you feel. It’s about separating your feelings from your actions. Letting the feelings come. Acknowledging them. Letting them go. Then, responding with intention. – @loveandletgrow

Feel the feeling but don’t become the emotion.

Quote 15: We don’t need to get rid of anxiety. What we need is to practice noticing the sensations in the body, naming the feelings under the anxiety, and nurturing our capacity to still do brave, challenging things even when we feel anxious. – Inspired by Lelia Scott

Instead of trying to rid ourselves of big feelings like anxiety, let’s shift our focus toward developing the skills to navigate them gracefully.

One skill for navigating emotions, particularly anxiousness, is mindfulness—becoming aware of the sensations in our body. By tuning in, we can identify the feelings beneath the surface—acknowledging and naming them without judgment.

Foster self-compassion, and remember, it’s not about eradicating our emotions but developing skills to coexist with them.

Quote 16: Mindfulness means bringing your focus to the present and accepting your thoughts and feelings for what they are without judging them, trying to change them, or expecting them to be different. – Inspired by Renee Jain

To be mindful is to bring your focus to the present moment—accepting your thoughts and feelings for what they are without judgment or trying to change them.

In a world that often pulls us in different directions, mindfulness offers a sanctuary of peace and acceptance, inviting us to notice the beauty in the simplest moments and cultivate deeper self-awareness.

By taking a moment to:

🧘‍♀️ Pause
🧘‍♀️ Breathe
🧘‍♀️ Embrace the present

We can better anchor ourselves during waves of emotion, support our kids during their storms, and live with clarity, authenticity, and gratitude.

Quote 17: Practicing how to anchor ourselves as our children navigate the ocean of emotions will help them grow to anchor themselves more naturally. – Inspired by Lelia Scott

When we practice grounding ourselves alongside our children’s turbulent emotions, we teach them the art of anchoring themselves. Through our self-awareness and regulation, we create safety—modeling inner stability and guiding toward emotional resilience.

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Did you know that every year, nearly 800,000 people die by suicide? That’s roughly one death every 40 seconds. It’s a startling number, and sadly, 90% of those lost will wrestle with mental health conditions.

It’s National Suicide Prevention Month, and we’re on a mission to spread knowledge to save lives. Today, we’re exploring suicide warning signs and equipping you with the tools to help.

To start that journey, take a second to watch this brief video released shortly after actor Robin Williams’s death.

Robin fit the criteria for many suicide risk factors, including depression, bipolar disorder, a chronic health condition, and a history of substance abuse.

Warning Signs That Someone May Attempt Suicide

You can’t always see how people are feeling on the inside, which can make it hard to identify when someone is struggling. However, there are often outward suicide warning signs when people are grappling with thoughts of suicide.

Talking about:

• Wanting to die
• Great guilt or shame
• Being a burden to others

Feeling:

• Empty, hopeless, trapped, or having no reason to live
• Extremely sad, more anxious, agitated, or full of rage
• Unbearable emotional or physical pain

Changing behavior, such as:

• Making a plan or researching ways to die
• Withdrawing from friends, saying goodbye, giving away important items, or making a will
• Taking dangerous risks, such as driving extremely fast
• Displaying extreme mood swings
• Eating or sleeping more or less
• Using drugs or alcohol more often

What to Do if You Think Someone May Be Considering Suicide

If you suspect that someone may be considering suicide, talk to them about your concerns. Begin the conversation by asking questions in a non-judgmental and non-confrontational way.

Talk openly and don’t be afraid to ask direct questions, such as “Are you thinking about suicide?”

Be prepared with resources to help, and don’t hesitate to assist them in utilizing the tools you’ve provided.

In Cases of Imminent Danger

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), if you notice someone doing any of the following, they should get care immediately:

• Putting their affairs in order or giving away their possessions
• Saying goodbye to friends and family
• Having a mood shift from despair to calm
• Planning, looking to buy, steal, or borrow the tools to complete suicide, such as a firearm or medication

Check out the graphic below for information on what to do in case of an emergency.

If someone has an immediate plan for suicide and means to exercise it, they need to go to the ER and be evaluated by a mental health professional for a higher level of care. And until that happens, they mustn’t be left alone.

Are You or Your Child Struggling?

You don’t need to bear the heavy weight of sadness without support. It might feel like you’re alone, but there are people out there who care about you and want to help. Call a friend or family member, and don’t be afraid to reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline by dialing 988.

If you have a child who is struggling, know that we’re here to help. We provide mental health support to kids and families across Montana. To learn more, contact us here.

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A 2020 survey by the CDC found that 1 in 4 young adults has considered suicide. More than half of us have been touched by it in some way. Globally, suicide claims more lives than war, murder, and natural disasters combined.

September is Suicide Prevention Month, and we’re exploring suicide risk factors.

Below is Alexandra Valoras’ story, told in her family’s words. Alexandra was a straight-A student, class officer, and robotics whiz. Her death is a heartbreaking reminder that even those who seem to be thriving can be at risk.

Understanding suicide risk factors helps us see what isn’t always visible on the surface.

Risk Factors

Research shows there isn’t one single cause of suicide—it’s often the result of multiple risk factors coming together.

Prior suicide attempts

For every death by suicide, there are an estimated 25 attempts.

Mental health conditions

According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, 90% of people who die by suicide had a diagnosable mental health condition.

• Depression: Up to 60% of those who die by suicide experience clinical depression.
• Bipolar disorder: 1 in 5 people with bipolar disorder will die by suicide.
• Schizophrenia: Up to 13% of people with schizophrenia die by suicide.

Lack of access to mental health care

Without treatment, the risk of suicide rises significantly.

Substance misuse

Drugs and alcohol can impair judgment and increase impulsivity.

Prolonged stress

Harassment, bullying, relationship struggles, or unemployment elevate risk.

Significant life events

Divorce, financial crisis, grief, or major transitions (such as retirement) can heighten vulnerability.

Social isolation

Loneliness has been shown to increase risk for depression, anxiety, and premature death—rivaling the risks of smoking, obesity, and inactivity.

Chronic or terminal illness

Roughly 10% of suicides are linked to serious health conditions.

Access to lethal means

85% of suicide attempts with a gun are fatal, compared to 4% using other methods. Safe firearm storage is a key protective measure for youth.

Recent loss by suicide

Losing a friend or loved one to suicide can increase personal risk.

Protective Factors

Protective factors are personal or environmental characteristics that reduce risk and help people cope with life’s challenges.

Below are several protective factors that can mitigate risk of suicide.

• Access to effective behavioral health care
• Strong connections with family, friends, and community
• Life skills such as problem-solving, coping, and ability to adapt to change
• Self-esteem and a sense of meaning or purpose in life
• Cultural, religious, or personal beliefs that discourage suicide

What to Do if Someone Is Struggling

If you’re concerned about someone, don’t be afraid to ask directly about suicide. You won’t “put the idea” in their head—many people feel relief when someone cares enough to ask.

If someone shares that they’re considering suicide:

• Stay with them if they have immediate plans and means.
• Take them to the emergency room to be evaluated by a mental health professional.
• Call 911 if they’re in immediate danger.

Learn More: How to Talk to Someone About Suicide

If Your Child Is Struggling

Help is here. We provide mental health support for youth and families across Montana. Contact us here to get help for your child.

Learn More: 9 Warning Signs of Teen Suicide Parents Need to Know

If You’re Struggling

You don’t have to carry the weight alone. Reach out to a trusted friend or family member, and don’t hesitate to call 988 to connect with the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Support is just a call away.

Want to Learn More?

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What does it mean to parent when triggered? Often, our kids meet us with big emotions and behaviors that can stretch us and activate an in-kind response, particularly when we’re stressed or worn thin.

And at that moment, we’re challenged to slow down. To create space between our reaction and response so we can respond in love.

Below are fourteen quotes to help you with parenting when triggered.

Quotes on Parenting When Triggered

Quote 1: Kids don’t “make” us yell. They reveal to us where we have room to grow, where we have wounds to heal, and where we still have unresolved trauma from our own childhoods. – Inspired by Shelly Robinson

Quote 2: When the milk is splattered all over the floor, and those little eyes are looking at you for your reaction, remember what really matters. It takes 5 minutes to clean up spilled milk; it takes much longer to clean up a broken spirit. – Rebecca Eanes

Quote 3: Unless there is a risk of your child hurting themselves and you need to step in, when your child is having a meltdown or “tantrum,” your first step should be to calm yourself down. Very rarely does effective parenting happen when you are triggered, angry, or stressed. – @australianpsychologist

Quote 4: Your capacity to have empathy for your child in difficult moments is directly related to your capacity to have empathy for yourself in difficult moments. – @drnicolebeurken

Quote 5: In the heat of the moment, first, attend to how your child’s behavior makes you feel, so you can then attend to how your child feels without the interference of your own emotions. – @dr.siggie

Quote 6: When I calm myself first, I protect my kids from things that have nothing to do with their behavior. – Inspired by Dr. David Erickson

Quote 7: When your child is having a meltdown, your number one priority is to stay in control of your own emotions. – @dr.siggie

Quote 8: Your child’s state of reactivity will often mirror your own state of reactivity. – Inspired by Caley Kukla

Quote 9: Meeting a child’s hostility with adult aggression only adds fuel to the fire. To extinguish hostile behavior, meet it with calm and compassion. – Rebecca Eanes

Quote 10: It doesn’t make sense that adults lose control with children for losing control. And then expect children to be able to control themselves when the adult in front of them can’t even control themselves. – Inspired by Jessica Martin-Weber

Quote 11: My kids aren’t to blame for triggering me, pushing my buttons, or driving me up the wall. It’s on me to work through those triggers, remove those buttons, and tear down the wall instead of expecting my kids to change their behavior before I change mine. – Inspired by Iris Chen

Quote 12: If we want our kids to stop and think before reacting, then we need to show them how. That means we need to practice pausing, keeping ourselves regulated, and then responding—not just with them, but in all areas of life. – @drnicolebeurken

Quote 13: Peaceful parenting isn’t about your ability to stop feeling what you feel. It’s about separating your feelings from your actions. Letting the feelings come. Acknowledging them. Letting them go. Then responding with intention. – @loveandletgrow

Quote 14: Respond to children with the same connection and empathy for all their behaviors, and they’ll know your love isn’t conditional. That’s how you become their “safe space.” – Sarah R. Moore

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Trauma-informed communication isn’t just about what we say—it’s about how we say it. It’s about presence, intention, and connection, especially in moments that feel charged or difficult.

That’s where L.O.V.E. comes in.

It’s a simple framework that reminds us to slow down and center ourselves when communicating—whether with kids, colleagues, or loved ones. And in high-stress moments, that pause can make all the difference.

The L.O.V.E. Approach to Trauma-Informed Communication

When emotions run high, try using the L.O.V.E. approach:

L – Listen (“I hear you.”)

Give your full attention. Put away distractions, pause your inner dialogue, and truly listen—without interrupting or planning your response. Feeling heard is the foundation of connection.

O – Observe (“I see you.”)

Notice more than words. Body language, tone, and facial expressions often speak louder. Observation helps us tune in to what might be happening beneath the surface.

V – Validate (“I accept you.”)

Validation isn’t agreement—it’s acknowledgment. It means recognizing someone’s feelings as real and important, even if you don’t fully understand or share them.

E – Empathize (“I understand you.”)

Empathy invites us to step into another’s shoes and connect with their experience. It’s how we show care, build trust, and respond rather than react.

Learn More: 15 Quotes on Communicating with Empathy

Slow Down to Strengthen Connection

We can avoid so many problems when we respond with L.O.V.E. instead of reacting in haste.

In trauma-informed communication, timing matters. When emotions are high, it’s okay—even wise—to pause. Whether you’re parenting, leading a team, or resolving conflict with a friend, take a moment to check in with yourself before diving into tough conversations.

Give yourself permission to delay. The goal isn’t just to get through it—it’s to move forward in a way that builds connection, not tension.

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A recent study by Cigna found that more than 50% of Americans experience loneliness, and 54% say they don’t have anyone in their lives who truly knows them.

In today’s fast-paced world, building meaningful relationships isn’t always easy—but it’s essential for both mental and physical health.

If you’re looking for practical ways to feel more connected, here are four simple strategies to help you create stronger, healthier bonds with others.

#1: Spend Time with the People Who Matter

In the busyness of everyday life, it’s easy to overlook the people who mean the most. But even fifteen minutes of intentional time with someone you care about can have a powerful impact.

Prioritize presence.

#2: Eliminate Distractions

To truly connect, be all in. Put down your phone, turn off notifications, and focus on who you’re with. We build meaningful relationships when we listen fully and show others they matter.

#3: Embrace Solitude to Strengthen Self-Connection

To connect deeply with others, we must first know ourselves. Spend time alone in ways that feel fulfilling, whether it’s walking in nature, journaling, or listening to music.

A healthy relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other connection.

#4: Be Kind—and Take the First Step

Kindness creates space for trust. Share encouragement, check in on someone, or offer help when it’s needed. Strong relationships grow when we let others know they’re seen and valued.

Building meaningful relationships takes effort, but it’s worth it. Small steps can lead to deeper, more fulfilling connections with others and with yourself.

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Empathy is more than kindness—it’s the ability to understand and share in what someone else is feeling. Whether you’re leading a team, raising a child, or simply navigating day-to-day interactions, communicating with empathy builds trust, eases tension, and strengthens relationships.

Below are 15 quotes to inspire deeper connection through communication with care.

How to Connect with Empathy

Quote 1: It’s extremely powerful to hear someone say, “I get you. I understand. I see why you feel this way.” This kind of empathy disarms us. – Inspired by Daniel J. Siegel

Quote 2: People will hear you better if you speak from a voice of compassion instead of authority. They long to be understood more than to be lectured. – Inspired by Dodinsky

Quote 3: Sometimes, the most influential thing we can do is listen. – Bob Burg

Quote 4: What does it mean to “hold space” for someone else? It means that we are willing to walk alongside another person in whatever journey they’re on without judging them, making them feel inadequate, trying to fix them, or trying to impact the outcome. When we hold space for other people, we open our hearts, offer unconditional support, and let go of judgment and control. – Unknown

Quote 5: Connection: The power that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued. – Brene Brown

Quote 6: When someone is struggling, they already know. They don’t need advice. They don’t need solutions. They don’t need judgment. What they need are a smile and grace. And to be reminded that the person behind the battle can still be loved. – Lauren Fortenberry

Quote 7: Empathy has no script. There is no right way or wrong way to do it. It’s simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message “you’re not alone.” – Brene Brown

Quote 8: I judge others less when I judge myself less. – Unknown

Quote 9: When someone shares a difficult situation they are facing, don’t respond as though life is simple and there’s an easy solution. Life is complex, and often there are no simple solutions. – Rachel Samson

Quote 10: What people of all ages can use in a moment of distress is not agreement or disagreement; they need someone to recognize what it is they’re experiencing. – Adele Faber

Quote 11: Trauma happens and harms us. But I often wonder if the worst trauma is the second wave—when your story is disbelieved, mistrusted, and maligned. May your story find safe harbor in the presence of people who will honor both your vulnerability and resilience. – @kjramseywrites

Quote 12: To empathize with someone’s experience, you must be willing to believe them as they see it and not how you imagine their experience to be. – Brene Brown

Quote 13: Client: I know I probably shouldn’t have these feelings. Therapist: What you are feeling in this situation is perfectly okay. – Rachel Samson

Quote 14: Do not try to reason with someone who is not regulated. – Inspired by Rachel Samson

Quote 15: One of the most effective strategies for regulating emotion is cultivating an attitude of acceptance towards your emotions and the emotions of others. – Rachel Samson

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Want to give your kids a strong foundation for life? Parenting with empathy is linked to everything from healthy attachment to emotional intelligence and solid relationship skills!

But it’s not always easy, particularly when we’re stressed or our children display challenging behaviors. Below are sixteen quotes to help you master parenting with empathy.

Quotes to Guide You in Parenting with Empathy

Quote 1: When we don’t understand a behavior, we tend to assume a child is doing it on purpose. – @raisinghumankind

Quote 2: The more we can look underneath a child’s behavior to understand it, the more compassion we’ll have. – Unknown

Quote 3: Beneath every behavior, there is a feeling. And beneath each feeling is a need. And when we meet that need rather than focus on the behavior, we begin to deal with the cause, not the symptom. – Ashleigh Warner

Quote 4: When a child is upset, logic often won’t work until we have responded to the right brain’s emotional needs. – Dr. Dan Siegel

Quote 5: When kids believe your first goal is to empathize and understand rather than to admonish and correct, you leave the door open for future conversations. – Philip Daniel De Jesus

Quote 6: Kids will hear you better if you speak from a voice of compassion instead of authority. They long to be understood more than to be lectured. – Inspired by Dodinsky

Quote 7: Our kids want us to give them a safe space to process their hard feelings more than they want us to fix all their problems. – Shelly Robinson

Quote 8: As a parent, the coolest tool I learned a while back was when one of my kids started complaining to me about something was to say, “do you need me to get involved, offer advice, or just listen?” 9/10, they just want my ear. – Inspired by Tobias Buckell

Quote 9: It’s crucial to keep in mind that no matter how nonsensical and frustrating our child’s feelings may seem to us, they are real and important to our child. It’s vital that we treat them as such in our response. – Daniel J. Siegel

Quote 10: What people of all ages can use in a moment of distress is not agreement or disagreement; they need someone to recognize what it is they’re experiencing. – Adele Faber

Quote 11: Children don’t need to have their feelings agreed with; they need to have them acknowledged. The more you try to push their unhappy feelings away, the more they become stuck in them. The more comfortable you can be accepting the bad feelings, the easier it is for kids to let them go. – Inspired by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish

Quote 12: Sometimes parents avoid talking about upsetting experiences, thinking that doing so will reinforce their children’s pain or make things worse. But telling the story is often exactly what children need to make sense of the event and move on to a place where they can feel better about what happened. – Unknown

Quote 13: By acknowledging our children’s emotions, we are helping them learn skills for soothing themselves, skills that will serve them well for a lifetime. – John Gottman, Ph.D.

Quote 14: The goal is for children to express their wants and needs with us openly. That doesn’t mean they always get what they want. It means they feel safe enough to share—even when the answer is no. – Inspired by @dr.siggie

Quote 15: The next time you lock horns with your child and tempers are flaring, remember this… It is likely a head-on collision of both parent and child not feeling seen or heard in that moment. As the adult with more power and resources, it is our job to recognize this and remove our egos from the equation so we can parent from a place of calm, curiosity, and compassion. – Shelly Robinson

Quote 16: Don’t normalize pain or neglect by refusing to be a safe haven for your child because the “real world won’t coddle them when they grow up.” Show them what love and respect look like so they’ll recognize when they’re being mistreated. – Amanda Erickson

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Parenting a foster child with trauma history can be challenging.

Trauma profoundly influences brain development, impacting children’s behaviors, ability to regulate emotions, and even their capacity to form healthy relationships.

And for many, it’s coupled with attachment issues, rooted in everything from abuse and neglect early on in life to repeated moves due to broken-down placements.

Here are some signs that may indicate a child is struggling with attachment.

Parenting children with attachment issues rooted in a history of trauma can be a formidable task. To put it simply—it’s not easy to be a foster parent.

But the work is so critical. The bonds foster parents build with kids help them heal and serve as the foundation for healthy connections in adulthood.

We want to guide you on the path to parenting kids with trauma history. So, here are a few tips to help build trust and influence children’s behavior.

Tips on Parenting Kids with a History of Trauma

Meet Needs

Your #1 goal is to find out your foster child’s needs and meet them. And the best way to find out is to ask. When doing so, be direct, using exact language. For example, “What’s going on?” “What are your needs?” “How can I support you?”

Say “Yes”

Kids in foster care have little power over their lives. So, often that manifests in a desire for control.

You can go miles when it comes to building trust with children by focusing on dishing out “yes” more than “no.” The optimal ratio is 7:1, saying “yes” 7 times for every “no.”

Learn More: How to Skip Power Struggles with Kids by Saying Yes

Make Eye Contact

Our eyes speak louder than words.

Nonverbal cues are critical components of communication, especially for kids with trauma history. As often as possible, get on your foster child’s eye level when speaking to them.

Mirror Behavior

Be a mirror. Secure attachment is characterized by a healthy rhythm between children and their caregiver’s behavior. For instance, if a baby coos, their mother will coo back, or when a toddler laughs, their father laughs too.

Congruent behaviors build trust and attachment.

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When emotions run high, your ability to regulate—to effectively manage your emotions, energy levels, and behaviors—makes all the difference. It’s an essential skill, not just for your own well-being, but for navigating relationships with others in a way that builds trust and connection.

We all have moments when our feelings take over—when frustration builds or someone hits a nerve. In those moments, it’s easy to react. But when we pause, reflect, and respond with intention, we strengthen our relationships and model emotional balance for those around us.

How to Regulate Emotions & Respond to Others

Here are five simple, powerful tips to help you regulate in the moment and respond with clarity—not overwhelm.

Identify Your Triggers

Start by paying attention to the patterns—those moments that consistently spark strong emotional responses. Do certain situations, tones, or topics light a fuse? Recognizing your triggers isn’t about blame. It’s about awareness. When you understand what’s setting you off, you’re better equipped to respond instead of react.

Pause and Breathe

When you notice your body or mind getting activated, give yourself a beat. Pause. Breathe. That tiny gap between stimulus and response? It matters. It’s where self-control lives. The goal isn’t to ignore what you’re feeling—it’s to create just enough space to choose how you want to respond.

Notice What You Feel

Emotions often show up in the body before the brain fully catches on. A tight chest. Clenched jaw. Restless legs. Be curious about those signals—they’re information. Tuning in to what you feel physically can offer insight into what’s happening emotionally.

Accept Your Emotions

There’s no “bad” emotion. Anger, sadness, fear—these are all natural parts of being human. Accepting your emotions doesn’t mean letting them run the show. It means acknowledging what’s present without judgment. Practicing self-compassion in tough moments helps us show up better for others and for ourselves.

Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness doesn’t need to be complicated. It’s simply about noticing what’s happening—inside you and around you. Use your senses. What do you hear? Feel? See? Returning to the present helps you stay grounded when emotions feel big.

The Bottom Line

Regulating emotions isn’t about stuffing them down or pretending everything’s fine. It’s about building awareness, creating space, and responding with intention. Whether you’re parenting a child with big feelings or navigating the complexities of professional life, these small shifts can have a big impact.

You won’t get it perfect every time—and that’s okay. But with practice, you’ll start to notice moments of calm where there once was chaos. And those moments matter.

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Great things come to those who put in focused, strategic effort. And that requires keeping it simple—to practice discipline and say no much more than saying yes.

Below are sixteen quotes illustrating the power of focused effort.

Quotes on the Power of Focused Effort

Quote 1: Productivity is never an accident. It is always the result of a commitment to excellence, intelligent planning, and focused effort. – Paul J. Meyer

Quote 2: Juggling, multitasking, and other forms of “attention shifting” are highly inefficient. Simply, the brain works much faster and more accurately when attention is focused, for a stretch of time, on one thing at a time. – Harvard Business Review

Quote 3: The concept of always being reachable makes us present nowhere. – Peter Arvai

Quote 4: Multitasking takes a toll. At home or at work, distractions lead to poor choices, painful mistakes, and unnecessary stress. – Gary W. Keller

Quote 5: The mind is like water. When it’s turbulent, it’s challenging to see. When it’s calm, everything becomes clear. – Inspired by Prasad Mahes

Quote 6: Complexity means distracted effort. Simplicity means focused effort. – Edward De Bono

Quote 7: Simplicity of approach is always best. – Charlie Chaplin

Quote 8: Doing less is often harder than doing more. – Inspired by Carolyn Rubenstein

Quote 9: You can do anything—but not everything. – David Allen

Quote 10: The art of leadership is saying no, not saying yes. It is very easy to say yes. – Tony Blair

Quote 11: Deciding what not to do is as important as deciding what to do. – Steve Jobs

Quote 12: Time and energy are limited. Any successful person has to decide what to do in part by deciding what not to do. – Angela Duckworth

Quote 13: It’s only by saying no that you can concentrate on the things that are really important. – Steve Jobs

Quote 14: You have to say no to a lot of good things in order to be able to say yes to a lot of great things. – Steve Jobs

Quote 15: You can’t do big things if you’re distracted by small things. – Unknown

Quote 16: Focus is about saying no. And the result of that focus is going to be some really great products where the total is much greater than the sum of the parts. – Steve Jobs

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How do you respond to children when they make mistakes? It impacts everything from the comfort they have coming to us when they slip up to the mindset they develop to successfully navigate challenges.

Your Child’s Mistakes Help Them To:

Quotes on Having a Gentle Response to Kids’ Mistakes

Below are fourteen quotes to guide you in having a gentle response to your child when they make mistakes.

Quote 1: Parents have two primary jobs when it comes to keeping their kids safe and making them feel safe. The first is to protect them from harm. The second is to avoid becoming the source of fear and threat. – Daniel J. Siegel & Tina Payne Bryson

Quote 2: Parenting is not about raising children who never make mistakes. It’s about being a safe place for them when they do. – @simplyonpurpose

Quote 3: I think it’s really, really important that our home is not another place where our kids feel like they are failing—like they aren’t enough. – Rachel Macy Stafford

Quote 4: I often wonder if we speak so harshly to ourselves when we make a mistake because that’s how we were spoken to when we messed up as kids. – Shelly Robinson

Quote 5: The patience and kindness you offer your child when they’ve made a mistake will be the patience and kindness they offer themselves when they make a mistake as an adult. Be kind and intentional with your words. – @loveandletgrow

Quote 6: We teach our kids how honest they can be with us based on how we react when they tell us things we don’t want to hear. – Susan Stiffelman

Quote 7: Getting angry and yelling at kids for making mistakes doesn’t teach them not to make mistakes—it teaches them to hide their mistakes. – @simplyonpurpose

Quote 8: I never want my kids to mess up and think, “Dad’s going to kill me.” Instead, I want their first thought to be, “I need to call my dad.” – Unknown

Quote 9: When we make a mistake while attempting to learn a new skill, we don’t like to be isolated and made to feel ashamed for what we did wrong. Neither do children. – Shelly Robinson

Quote 10: When my child has made a poor decision that has led to a painful lesson, the last thing they need is a side of belittlement and condescension from me. – Unknown

Quote 11: When my child makes a mistake, and I feel tempted to scold them, I try to remember how I want to be treated when I make mistakes in my own life—with compassion, curiosity, and grace. – Shelly Robinson

Quote 12: Kids cannot persevere unless they know mistakes are part of life. Talk about your child’s mistakes without criticizing, showing anger, or shaming. Then give constructive feedback on how to improve. – Inspired by Michele Borba

Quote 13: Look for solutions rather than punishments. Children need to learn how to fix their mistakes, not just pay for them. – Rebecca Eanes

Quote 14: One day, your child will make a mistake or a bad choice and run to you instead of away from you. And in that moment, you will know the immense value of peaceful, positive, respectful parenting. – L.R. Knost

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Conflict! For many, the word insights extreme discomfort. I mean, hats off to those who navigate relationship tension like a pro. I know I don’t. And I’m not alone.

Surveys show that an astounding 85% of American workers regularly traverse conflict. And over half of them feel ill-equipped for the journey.

Friction, particularly in the workplace, is inevitable. Work is where people with diverse backgrounds, values, and personalities congregate. And disputes often arise where differences meet.

Conflict Boils Down to Communication

Have you heard of the four horsemen of the apocalypse? After a mountain of research, Psychologist John Gottman found that specific communication patterns predicted divorce with over 93% accuracy. And what were those patterns? Criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling.

Here’s the kicker. While Gottman’s research focused on marriage, his findings ring true for relationships across all settings. Understanding the four horsemen and developing the skills to overcome them is priceless in navigating conflict.

Below is a breakdown of John Gottman’s four horsemen and tips on how to conquer them at work. 

Criticism

When we criticize others, we state complaints as a defect in their personality or character. As a result, our communication comes across as a personal attack, causing the other party to become defensive and shut down their desire for mutual resolution.

Frequently, criticism is characterized by universal statements, such as “You never” or “You’re too lazy.”

How to Counter Criticism

Of course, the best counter to criticism is to complain without dishing out blame. To do so, gently express your needs using “I” statements, rather than resorting to “you” statements. Try describing how you feel as neutrally as possible while still making your point.

Before walking into an interaction, think to yourself: 

“What emotions do I feel?”

“What do I need from the other person in this situation?”

When countering criticism in the workplace, try to be as general as possible, asking questions such as “Can you tell me what brought you to that approach?”

Contempt

What’s contempt? It’s general meanness, mocking, condescension, and sarcasm. Some examples include eye-rolling, sneering, and name-calling.

Contempt can come across as any statement or nonverbal behavior aiming to elevate you to a higher ground than another person. It’s the ultimate sign of disrespect, and according to John Gottman, it’s the number one predictor of relationship failure.

When we engage in contempt, it often causes the other party to counter with defensiveness and stonewalling, spiraling both parties further down the rabbit hole of conflict.

How to Counter Contempt

Counter contempt by creating a culture of appreciation. For instance, if you admire something about a teammate, tell them. And when they do something great, let them know.

Moreover, try to avoid sarcasm, even through humor. It’s often taken out of context and can result in hurt feelings.

Note for Supervisors

Don’t wait for formal performance reviews to communicate a job well done to your people. Instead, catch them doing good and call it out whenever possible.

Defensiveness

I don’t know about you, but I don’t like feeling attacked, rejected, or criticized. And my first reaction to it, like most of us, is to defend myself.

But that reaction? It can be damaging! And why is that?

Because when we’re defensive, it signals to the other party that we aren’t able to take a hard look at our behavior and execute actions to correct it.

When we act defensively, we counter a perceived attack with a counterattack. Frequently, we take the victim role and refuse to take responsibility for our part in destructive communications.

And that behavior only escalates and spins the interaction out of control.

How to Counter Defensiveness

The counter to defensiveness is straightforward—take responsibility. We can’t mitigate conflict with others unless we take accountability for our part in it.

Yes, you heard me right. You play a role in the negative interactions you have with others. It’s inevitable. We all do.

So, next time you feel attacked, take responsibility by openly acknowledging your part in the exchange. And even if you slip up in your communications, you can still clean it up.

Here’s an example: “Let’s start that again. I might not have expressed that thought very well. I apologize.”

Stonewalling

Stonewalling involves avoiding contact with another person with the intent of making them feel ignored or invalidated. When we stonewall, we shut down and emotionally withdraw from conflict.

Essentially, we close ourselves off from those we’re in discord with, which often leads to noncooperation.

Stonewalling can look like:

• Ignoring what the other person is saying
• Changing the subject to avoid an uncomfortable topic
• Storming off without a word
• Coming up with reasons not to talk
• Refusing to answer questions
• Making accusations rather than talking about the current problem
• Using dismissive body language such as rolling or closing eyes
• Engaging in passive-aggressive behaviors such as stalling or procrastinating to avoid talking about a problem
• Refusing to acknowledge the stonewalling behavior

Here are some reasons why we respond to conflict by stonewalling:

• We have a hard time expressing feelings & needs.
• We feel pressured or threatened to get our point across
• We are flooded with emotion
• It’s hard to open up and be vulnerable with feelings, so we push those feelings inward.
• We use the “silent treatment” as a control tactic to punish or get back at the person we’re upset with.
• We feel the other person won’t understand where we are coming from, so we think, “what’s the point?”
• We grew up in an environment where feelings were not openly discussed, and caregivers modeled avoidance.

The thing with stonewalling is we never address conflict when we do it. Instead of fixing the problems at the root of relationship friction, we let them rot, only perpetuating negative feelings.

How to Counter Stonewalling

Stonewalling is tricky. Sometimes, we get so flooded with emotion that we know we’ll become highly agitated or even enraged if we confront conflict head-on. And that’s not good. But disengaging isn’t a solution either.

So, what’s the answer? First, practice open communication by letting the other party know you need a break. Then, use that time to distract yourself from the conflict, explore your feelings, and calm down.

Remember, decompress, but always come back to the interaction when you’re in a space to navigate it constructively. When you return, use empathy and convey that you are listening to understand the other party’s experience, even if you disagree with their viewpoint.

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As parents, navigating tricky behaviors can be challenging. But with a positive approach built on a foundation of curiosity and intention, we can help our little ones learn, grow, and thrive.

Below are seventeen quotes to help you decode and coach kids through behaviors.

Quotes on Coaching Kids Through Behaviors

Quote 1: When we don’t understand a behavior, we tend to assume a child is doing it on purpose. – @raisinghumankind

When we don’t understand behavior, it’s easy to assume it’s intentional.

The talking back. The shutdown. The meltdown in the grocery store. Without context, it can feel personal—even defiant.

But most of the time, it’s not about us. It’s about a child trying to cope with something they can’t yet manage, express, or explain.

Assuming intent closes the door to understanding. Curiosity cracks it open.

Quote 2: There’s usually an “inside” story to every “outside” behavior. Though we may not be able to know that “inside story,” there’s generally some inner reason for what children do. – Fred Rogers

Every behavior tells a story—even if we don’t know the full plot.

What we see on the outside is often just the surface: the outburst, the shutdown, the refusal. But underneath? There’s almost always a reason—stress, confusion, fear, or needs that haven’t been met.

We don’t have to excuse the behavior to understand it. When we lead with that mindset, we respond with more patience, clarity, and compassion.

Quote 3: One of the most important tools for parents is the power of observation. Often, we act before considering the underlying meaning of kids’ behaviors, focusing on managing or correcting it instead of reflecting on what it means for the child. – Inspired by @monadelahooke

Before we correct, it helps to observe. Behavior isn’t random—it’s often a clue.

Kids may not say, “I’m overwhelmed” or “This is too much for me.” But their behavior might be trying to tell you just that.

One of the most powerful tools we have as parents is curiosity. When we pause long enough to notice, we shift from reacting to understanding. That shift helps us respond in ways that support our kids.

Quote 4: Beneath misbehavior often lies a struggling child who is aware that they are not meeting expectations but unaware or unequipped on how to do so. – Inspired by Sarah Boyd

Kids usually want to meet expectations. But under stress, the skills that help them do that—like calming down, thinking ahead, or stopping to consider their choices—can fall apart.

That’s because the part of the brain responsible for planning, focus, and self-control (called executive function) is still developing—and even more so when emotions run high.

It’s not about motivation. It’s about brain development. And kids need coaching, not criticism, to build those skills over time.

Quote 5: Challenging behavior occurs when the demands placed on a child outstrip the skills they have to respond adaptively to those demands. – Dr. Ross Greene

Challenging behavior doesn’t mean a child won’t—it often means they can’t. At least not yet.

When the demands placed on a child exceed the skills they have—whether it’s managing emotions, thinking flexibly, or navigating social situations—behavior becomes the signal.

This idea is at the heart of Dr. Ross Greene’s Collaborative & Proactive Solutions model. Backed by research on lagging executive, emotional, and social skills, it offers a simple, powerful truth:

Kids do well if they can.

And if they can’t? They don’t need more pressure—they need support to build the skills they’re missing.

Quote 6: Children do not enter this world with bad intentions. They do not come to wear us out, test our patience, or push us over the edge. They come to us with a need for love, connection, and belonging. – Rebecca Eanes

From the very beginning, kids are wired to seek connection and safety—it’s how they survive, and how they grow.

So when behavior gets loud or hard to manage, it’s usually not about manipulation. It’s a signal. A sign that something isn’t working, and a child is struggling to get their core needs met.

When we see behavior as a call for connection—not control—we’re more likely to respond with the guidance and support kids truly need.

Quote 7: Every child wants to succeed. Every child wants to have a good relationship with others. Every child wants to have a sense of belonging and significance. When we remember this, we will give misbehaving children the benefit of the doubt. Instead of assuming they want to be difficult, we will assume they want positive results and are simply confused about how to achieve them. – Jane Nelsen

At the core, every child wants to do well. They want to connect. To feel seen. To belong.

When behavior misses the mark, it’s rarely because a child wants to cause problems—it’s usually because they’re struggling to get their core needs met—and working to meet them in the only way they know how.

Giving kids the benefit of the doubt doesn’t mean lowering expectations. It means recognizing their intentions are good—even when their behavior isn’t—and showing them how to get to the outcome they’re really after.

Quote 8: Too often, we forget that discipline really means to teach, not to punish. A disciple is a student, not a recipient of behavioral consequences. – Daniel J. Siegel

Discipline at its core is about helping kids learn what to do next time—not just making them pay for what went wrong.

When we shift from reacting to teaching, we give kids the tools to build better behavior over time.

Quote 9: Repeatedly telling a child what they’re doing wrong won’t help them learn what to do differently. – @parenting_pathfinders

Pointing out what’s wrong doesn’t teach what to do instead.

Kids need more than correction—they need coaching. When we only tell them what not to do, we leave a gap. A blank space where the skill should be.

Real growth comes when we help them fill that gap—with guidance, modeling, and practice. It’s not about lowering expectations—it’s about giving them the tools to reach them.

Quote 10: Before telling a child to stop doing something, imagine them asking you, “What should I do instead?” Then, skip telling them to “stop” and tell them this. – @parenting_pathfinders

What if, before saying “stop,” we paused to consider what a child could do instead?

Most kids aren’t trying to misbehave—they’re trying to navigate a situation with the tools they have. When we only tell them what not to do, we leave them without a way forward.

So next time, imagine them asking, “What should I do instead?” And lead with that.

Giving clear direction helps kids build the skills they need to succeed.

Quote 11: Affirmation is powerful! When you encourage kids with their small successes, they are usually eager to do more. – @connectedfams

Kids grow where they’re encouraged.

A small win—a kind word—a moment of progress noticed. That’s often all it takes to spark motivation. Affirmation builds confidence, and confidence fuels growth.

As @connectedfams puts it: “When you encourage kids with their small successes, they are usually eager to do more.”

What we choose to highlight matters. Catch them doing well, and watch what happens next.

Quote 12: Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind. Often, we get so focused on how to respond when kids cross boundaries that we forget to ensure our boundaries are clear to begin with. – @helpingfamiliesthrive

“Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.”

We often focus on how to respond when kids cross boundaries—but sometimes, the real issue is that the boundary wasn’t clear to begin with.

Kids aren’t mind readers. They’re learners.

When we set limits with calm, consistent clarity, we make it easier for them to succeed.

Quote 13: Punishing a child forces them to focus on how their behavior affects them. Communicating with a child helps them to focus on how their behavior affects others. To parent effectively, focus on communication instead of retribution. – Inspired by L.R. Knost

Punishment makes kids think, “I’m in trouble.” Communication helps them think, “I made a mistake—and here’s how it affected someone else.”

One pushes kids into self-protection. The other invites growth, accountability, and connection.

It’s not about making kids pay for what went wrong—it’s about helping them understand, repair, and grow.

Quote 14: If controlling another human being is the goal, then force is necessary. Fear, intimidation, threats, power-plays, physical pain—those are the means of control. But, if growing healthy humans is the goal, then building trust, relationships, encouraging, guiding, leading, teaching, and communicating are the tools for success. – Inspired by L.R. Knost

The way we respond to challenging behavior says a lot about what we’re aiming for.

If the goal is short-term compliance, we might lean on control or fear to get it. But if the goal is long-term growth—raising thoughtful, capable humans—we have to take a different path.

That means leaning into connection, not coercion. Teaching instead of punishing. Holding boundaries and holding space.

It takes more time, more intention—but it builds something stronger.

Quote 15: You won’t be able to always control your child. But with a relationship with trust and connection, you will be able to influence them for years beyond childhood. Focus on connection & influence instead of power & control. – Dr. David Erickson

Control is temporary. But connection? That lasts.

You won’t always be able to control your child’s choices—and you shouldn’t have to. What carries real weight over time is the relationship you build.

When trust and connection are strong, your influence lasts far beyond childhood. Not because you demanded it—but because you earned it.

Quote 16: Never miss an opportunity to make a kid feel better about themselves. When they feel good, their whole demeanor changes. They learn better, behave better, and act better toward others. – Christine Derengowski

It’s easy to focus on what needs correcting. And yes—kids need guidance, limits, and clear expectations. But if that’s all they hear, they can start to believe they’re only as good as their mistakes.

Encouragement shifts that narrative. When we reflect back their effort, growth, and small wins, we help them see themselves differently—and that changes everything.

A child who feels seen and capable is more open to feedback, more willing to try again, and more likely to grow—not because we demanded it, but because they believe they can.

Quote 17: When children perceive that they belong and that they are capable, they feel encouraged and behave in socially acceptable ways. – Jane Nelson

When kids feel like they belong and that they matter, their behavior often starts to shift.

Belonging isn’t just a warm feeling—it’s a basic need. And when kids see themselves as capable contributors, they’re more likely to show up in ways that reflect that belief.

That sense of belonging fuels motivation. It builds resilience. It gives kids a reason to care—not just about how they’re doing, but about how they’re impacting others.

Instead of trying to earn their place, they begin to live into it—taking ownership, showing empathy, and stepping into who they’re becoming.

Need Support?

We’re here to help! With everything from therapy to in-home caregiver support and more, we provide a wide range of behavioral health services tailored to each child’s unique needs—designed to empower families in treatment.

Contact us to learn more about getting involved.

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Would you build a house on unsteady ground? Probably not. So why overlook a child’s strengths when guiding them?

Every child possesses an inherent set of strengths. And when we lean into them rather than focusing on weaknesses, we empower—laying a solid foundation for kids to thrive!

Below are thirteen quotes illustrating the power of building on children’s strengths.

Quotes Illustrating Building on Strengths

Quote 1: If you want your child to improve, focus on their strengths more than their weaknesses. – @ybgr_cares

Focusing on strengths isn’t about ignoring challenges—it’s about helping kids use what’s already working as a springboard. When a child experiences success in one area, they gain what psychologists call a “mastery experience.” These successes build self-efficacy, the belief that “I can handle this,” which research shows is key to motivation, resilience, and future effort.

Kids who feel capable are more likely to try new things, persevere through setbacks, and tackle areas they struggle with because they have proof their effort matters.

Quote 2: There needs to be a lot more emphasis on what a child CAN do instead of what they cannot. – Temple Grandin

When we point out what kids can do, we help them build a sense of competence that drives learning. Studies on motivation show that children are more willing to take on difficult tasks when they feel capable in at least one area—it fuels persistence, curiosity, and a willingness to take risks.

It’s not about empty praise or inflating self-esteem. It’s about reflecting back real strengths and effort, so kids learn to trust their abilities and stretch beyond their comfort zone.

Research rooted in Self-Determination Theory shows that when kids feel competent, they’re more intrinsically motivated and more likely to persevere through challenges.

Quote 3: The best way to teach our kids is by building them up. Not tearing them down. – @renewedhopeparenting

Research on positive reinforcement shows that kids learn better when they feel safe and valued. Encouragement reinforces desired behaviors and creates conditions where kids stay open to learning.

Harsh criticism or punishment may stop behavior temporarily, but it often triggers shame or fear—shutting down growth and effort.

Quote 4: What you say about your child is what they think about themselves. You are the first person to give them a hint about their identity. Your words are powerful—be selective. – @ybgr_cares

Children form their sense of self partly through the repeated feedback they hear from trusted adults. When we highlight strengths, we help them build an inner voice that says, “I am capable,” “I am kind,” or “I can try.” Over time, this shapes identity and self-esteem, influencing how they approach challenges.

Quote 5: Speak to people as if all you see is their potential. Not everyone gets someone like that in their life. Be that someone. – Unknown

The Pygmalion effect demonstrates that children often rise or fall to meet the expectations adults have of them. When we communicate belief in a child’s potential, we help them envision a future they might not dare consider otherwise—and that belief can motivate them to strive toward it.

Quote 6: When we believe in our kids, they start to believe in themselves. – @atparentingsurvival

Children build confidence through the belief and encouragement of trusted adults. Our belief acts as a kind of scaffolding—support that helps kids take steps they might not risk alone. Over time, that borrowed confidence helps them build their own self-efficacy.

Quote 7: To inspire people, don’t show them your superpowers. Show them theirs. – Alexander Den Heijer

Want to inspire a child? Help them see what they’re capable of. Confidence grows when kids experience their own strengths in motion.

It’s not about praise—it’s about giving them meaningful chances to contribute, succeed, and feel the impact of their effort. That’s what drives lasting motivation and a belief in their ability to handle what comes next.

Quote 8: Every kid has strengths. Sometimes they’re obvious, like the kid who is a good athlete. But some strengths can be harder to notice—like the kid who is a kind person who accepts others. Both deserve equal praise. – Inspired by Living Full

Character development studies show that praising traits like kindness, fairness, or perseverance is just as important as praising achievement. Both help kids build self-worth and guide how they contribute to the world.

Quote 9: The teachers who we remember from childhood are the ones who saw us for who we really were and inspired us toward who we could become. – Sarah Boyd

Kids internalize the reflections they hear from trusted adults. When we name strengths—kindness, creativity, courage—it helps shape how they see themselves.

Over time, these early reflections form the foundation of identity, confidence, and motivation to develop into their full potential.

Quote 10: Never miss an opportunity to make a kid feel better about themselves. When they feel good, their whole demeanor changes. They learn better, behave better, and act better toward others. – Christine Derengowski

Self-esteem research shows that when children feel valued, they’re more likely to engage positively with learning, peers, and adults.

Genuine encouragement reduces anxiety and promotes healthy risk-taking—socially and academically. Feeling seen helps kids approach the world with confidence, curiosity, and resilience instead of fear or avoidance.

Quote 11: Look for the good things in your child today, and you’ll find that they’re even better tomorrow. Good things grow when they’re brought out into the light. – L.R. Knost

Reinforcement theory shows that the behaviors we notice and praise are more likely to grow. Kids tend to repeat what earns positive attention from the adults they care about — attention shapes behavior.

Quote 12: Inclusion is when the strengths of every child and young person are recognized, encouraged, and fostered. – Inspired by Beyond Blue

Research on belonging shows that when kids feel their unique strengths are valued, they’re more motivated to participate, learn, and connect. Inclusion isn’t about treating kids the same—it’s about helping each contribute in ways that build confidence and connection.

Quote 13: Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity to grow into the healthiest of people. – Inspired by Mr. Rogers

Attachment theory suggests that unconditional acceptance fosters the emotional security children need to explore, try, and grow. When kids feel loved as they are, they’re more willing to take healthy risks and bounce back from setbacks.

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The statistics surrounding men’s mental health in the United States are sobering. Did you know that around 75% of all suicide victims in the U.S. are men? Or that over 6 million men experience depression each year—many going undiagnosed?

Suicide remains one of the leading causes of death among males, a heartbreaking reality that too often goes unspoken.

The Silent Epidemic: Why Men’s Mental Health Struggles Are Overlooked

Mental health challenges among men are sometimes called a silent epidemic because they’re rarely discussed openly. Society tends to sweep men’s emotional struggles under the rug, driven by stereotypes about masculinity and strength. From an early age, boys are taught, directly or indirectly, that showing emotion is a sign of weakness, that they should “tough it out” no matter what they’re feeling inside.

But men aren’t machines. They’re human—with real emotions, struggles, and limits. Yet stigma and unspoken expectations often prevent them from expressing vulnerability or seeking help.

Even public figures are speaking out to help change that narrative.

“We need to feel like we can speak about it. The only way we can beat the stigma is by talking about it.” — Prince Harry

“Anyone can suffer from mental health issues. No matter how rich you are or how famous or powerful.” — Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

Shattering Stigma, One Conversation at a Time

Men’s mental health struggles are common. Men, like women, grapple with trauma, loss, anxiety, depression, and grief. But societal expectations often block them from reaching out—and that silence can be deadly.

Imagine what might change if we let go of frameworks that equate manhood with emotional suppression.

“Depression is something that just happens. You don’t have to be ashamed of it.” — Michael Phelps

“There’s no shame in talking about your feelings and asking for help.” — Ryan Reynolds

Breaking down stigma could save lives—encouraging men to seek help, healing, and hope.

Whether you’re a man working through life’s challenges, a parent raising a boy, a partner, a sibling, or a friend, we all have a role to play in creating space for these critical conversations. The time is now. Together, we can change the narrative and help future generations grow up knowing it’s okay to ask for help.

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What is trauma? Look it up in the dictionary, and you’ll find it defined as “a deeply distressing or disturbing experience.” And you know what? It’s painfully common.

According to the Sidran Institute of Traumatic Stress Education and Advocacy, about 70% of people will experience at least one traumatic event in their lifetime.

June is Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Awareness Month—a time to shine a light on trauma, its lasting effects, and the importance of healing. Here are thirteen powerful quotes to inspire strength, resilience, and hope.

Quotes on Trauma and Healing

Quote 1: To live in the body of a survivor is to never be able to leave the scene of the crime. I cannot ignore the fact that I live here. – Blythe Baird

Quote 2: Someone once asked me, “Why do you always insist on taking the hard road?” I replied, “Why do you assume I see two roads?” – Unknown

Quote 3: Childhood trauma can lead to an adulthood spent in survival mode, afraid to plant roots, to plan for the future, to trust, and to let joy in. It’s a blessing to shift from surviving to thriving. It’s not simple, but there is more than survival. – Unknown

Quote 4: There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds. – Laurell K. Hamilton

Quote 5: Trauma in a person, decontextualized over time, looks like personality. Trauma in a family, decontextualized over time, looks like family traits. Trauma in a people, decontextualized over time, looks like culture. – Resmaa Menakem

Quote 6: An unhealed person can find offense in pretty much anything someone does. A healed person understands that the actions of others have nothing to do with them. Each day you get to decide which one you will be. – Unknown

Quote 7: Heal, so you don’t have to give a sarcastic tone to uplifting messages. Heal, so you never have to make anyone else the object of your own frustration. Heal, so when someone tells you they love you, you may allow yourself to believe them. – Banff Wellness Retreat

Quote 8: If you continue to carry bricks from your past, you will end up building the same house. – Unknown

Quote 9: Your trauma is not your fault, but healing is your responsibility. – Unknown

Quote 10: As every therapist will tell you, healing involves discomfort. But so is refusing to heal. And over time, refusing to heal is always more painful. – Resmaa Menakem

Quote 11: Trauma creates change you don’t choose. Healing is about creating change you do choose. – Michelle Rosenthal

Quote 12: Now, every time I witness a strong person, I want to know: What darkness did you conquer in your story? Mountains don’t rise without earthquakes. – Katherine Mackenett

Quote 13: Perhaps the butterfly is proof that you can go through a great deal of darkness yet become something beautiful. – Unknown

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Did you know June is PTSD Awareness Month? It’s a time to shed light on post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) — a serious mental health condition that can affect people of all ages and backgrounds.

What Is PTSD?

Post-traumatic stress disorder develops after exposure to highly stressful or traumatic events. This may include violence, abuse, accidents, natural disasters, or combat. It affects roughly 8 million Americans annually, including children, caregivers, and adults in our communities.

Check out the video below from Vietnam veteran Ron Whitcomb, where he shares his powerful story of navigating life with PTSD after returning from the war in the late 1960s.

PTSD Symptoms

PTSD symptoms can vary but often fall into these key categories:

Intrusive Memories

Intrusive memories can look like:

• Recurring, unwanted, distressing memories
• Flashbacks (reliving the traumatic event)
• Nightmares about the trauma
• Emotional or physical distress when reminded of the event

Avoidance

Avoidance can manifest as:

• Avoiding thoughts, feelings, or conversations about trauma
• Steering clear of places, people, or activities that bring back memories of trauma

Negative Changes in Mood and Thinking

Negative changes in mood and thinking can look like:

• Negative beliefs about self, others, or the world
• Feelings of hopelessness
• Memory gaps about trauma
• Feeling detached or estranged from loved ones
• Loss of interest in once-enjoyed activities
• Emotional numbness

Changes in Physical and Emotional Reactions

Changes in physical and emotional reactions can manifest as:

• Being easily startled or feeling on edge
• Self-destructive behaviors (e.g., substance misuse, reckless driving)
• Difficulty sleeping or concentrating
• Irritability, angry outbursts, or aggressive behavior
• Feelings of guilt or shame

PTSD in Children

For children under age 6, symptoms may also include:

• Re-enacting the trauma during play
• Frightening dreams

What Causes PTSD?

PTSD can result from any event that feels life-threatening or overwhelming. Common causes include:

• Combat exposure
• Physical or sexual assault
• Serious accidents
• Sudden loss of a loved one
• Childhood abuse or neglect

Treatment and Support

There is hope. PTSD treatment often includes therapy, medication, and support groups. Early intervention can make a big difference in healing and recovery.

Want to Learn More?

Click here for more information about PTSD causes, treatments, and how it affects children.

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Emotional healing starts with feeling.

We can’t heal what we don’t allow ourselves to feel. The emotions we bury don’t disappear; they build up, quietly impacting our health, relationships, and sense of peace. Left unaddressed, they can become a heavy weight that we pass down through our parenting—rippling through future generations.

Below are fifteen quotes on generational patterns, trauma, and the journey to emotional healing.

Quotes Exploring the Path to Emotional Healing

Quote 1: That which is left unresolved from our childhood will land on the lap of our romantic partnerships + our parenting. – Inspired by Dr. Erika Velez

What remains unsettled within us finds its way into our parenting and relationships. Through self-awareness and compassion, we can break free from the patterns that no longer serve us. By nurturing our emotional well-being, we pave the way for a brighter, more connected future.

Quote 2: When children have big feelings, and we use toys, treats, or activities to distract them from what’s upsetting, we show them how to escape uncomfortable feelings rather than how to cope and move through them. – @aparentingpath

When children experience big emotions, it can be tempting to resort to toys, treats, or activities as a quick fix to help them feel better. But when we choose this path, we unintentionally teach them to evade rather than confront their discomfort.

Instead, embrace the opportunity to teach kids how to sit with and process their emotions. By holding space, validating feelings, and gently guiding children through challenging moments, we equip them with the tools to cope, grow, and thrive.

Quote 3: Addiction begins with the hope that something “out there” can instantly fill the emptiness inside. – Jean Kilbourne

Addiction is often born from a pattern of seeking external comforts to escape internal discomfort. When we distract kids from their feelings, we unintentionally teach them to avoid or suppress their emotions rather than develop healthy coping mechanisms to navigate through them. 

Early patterns of seeking instant relief set the stage for addiction as we learn to seek external sources to fill our inner void. We must teach kids how to recognize, express, and process their emotions, providing them with the tools to cope, heal, and build resilience in facing life’s challenges.

Quote 4: If we never let children go through the full wave of emotions when the emotion hits, there won’t be the assurance that it will pass. That is scary. – Krysten Taprell

Emotions are like waves, rising and falling in intensity. We must allow kids to experience the entire spectrum of the waters.

If we shield them from the waves, they may not grasp the temporary nature of emotions—which, for a child, can be scary. But when we courageously guide them through the storm, we assure them that feelings pass, bringing strength and comfort.

Quote 5: Numbing is a very human defense mechanism. It is a disconnect to protect ourselves from what has been emotionally and relationally too vulnerable, overwhelming, hurtful, or unsafe. – Inspired by Lelia Schott

Numbing acts as a disconnect, offering temporary respite from the intensity of our emotions—but while momentarily comforting, it prevents healing.

We must allow ourselves to experience emotions, embracing our discomfort with courage and compassion. By facing our vulnerabilities head-on, we create space for healing and lay the path to resilience.

Quote 6: Research on emotional suppression shows that when emotions are pushed aside or ignored, they get stronger. Psychologists call this amplification. – Inspired by Susan David

We have to feel it to heal it. By embracing our emotions, we open the door to self-regulation—cultivating greater self-awareness, healthier responses to others, and a more balanced journey.

Quote 7: Yes, your emotions are valid, but that is not permission to react to those emotions in any way you feel like it. We are all connected, and words and actions are impactful, so use them responsibly. – Inspired by Dr. Caroline Leaf

Yes, our emotions are valid, and it’s important to honor and acknowledge them. But it’s equally essential to recognize that our emotions don’t permit us to react without considering the impact on others. 

Our words and actions hold power. Even in the face of intense emotions, we have the capacity to respond thoughtfully. We can choose words that heal rather than harm—actions that uplift rather than tear down.

Quote 8: A lot of our explosive emotional reactions aren’t actually a response to the present moment. They’re a build-up of all the times we were in a similar dynamic and did not stand up for ourselves, use our voices, or express our emotions. – @haileypaigemagee

Our emotional reactions often trace back to unresolved echoes of our past, reverberating through our present experiences. By acknowledging our feelings, we grant ourselves the space to understand their origins—unraveling the threads of past experiences that continue to weave into our present reactions.

As we cultivate a deeper understanding, we unlock the power of healthier responses to others, fostering empathy and compassion in our connections.

Quote 9: Never let your emotions overpower your intelligence. – Drake Taylor

Have you heard of the term “emotional hijacking?” It refers to a sudden and intense emotional response that bypasses our ability to process situations logically.

Our amygdala, the part of the brain responsible for processing emotions and triggering the fight-or-flight response, takes over the rational thinking processes of the prefrontal cortex, resulting in impulsive behaviors, exaggerated emotional reactions, and difficulty in making sound decisions.

It can occur in response to perceived threats, stressful events, or triggers of traumatic experiences, leading to outbursts of anger, fear, or sadness that may be disproportionate to a situation. 

Recognizing when emotional hijacking is taking place is essential to responding effectively. Techniques like deep breathing, mindfulness, and taking a step back to assess can help us regain control over our emotions and allow for more thoughtful responses.

Quote 10: It’s not about managing your emotions. It’s about managing your reaction to your emotions. – Inspired by Yung Pueblo

Emotional intelligence is not just about controlling our emotions but leveraging them as a source of strength. More than managing our feelings, it’s empowering ourselves to manage our reactions to them effectively.

Quote 11: Identifying the pattern is awareness; choosing not to repeat the cycle is growth. – Billy Chapata

Growth starts when we consciously decide not to perpetuate old cycles—a journey that begins with self-awareness. By identifying patterns woven into our interactions and tuning into our emotions, we can understand ourselves and others more profoundly.

Once we start this trek, we’re better able to respond intentionally to those in our lives rather than simply reacting—a transformative step towards greater well-being and more harmonious relationships.

Quote 12: We cannot be more connected to others than we are to ourselves. – Brene Brown

True connection to others begins with cultivating a deep connection to ourselves. Through self-discovery, self-acceptance, and self-compassion, we create the foundation for meaningful and authentic relationships.

When we prioritize nurturing our own well-being, we unlock the capacity to understand and empathize with others on a more profound level. By tending to our own emotional landscape, we gain the tools to navigate the intricate terrain of human connection.

Quote 13: Our ability to tolerate anger, frustration, and behavior we don’t like is a skill we can strengthen by investigating the source of our discomfort. – Lori Petro

We can’t meet others more deeply than we’ve met ourselves.

By delving into the root causes of our discomfort, we open the door to strengthening our emotional resilience. As we gain insight into our triggers and patterns, we empower ourselves to respond with empathy and understanding to others.

Remember, our capacity to navigate anger, frustration, and behaviors that challenge us is a skill we can hone. Through self-reflection and curiosity, we expand our ability to tolerate + hold space for others, fostering healthier relationships.

Quote 14: Practicing how to turn toward ourselves with curious compassion when we are having a hard time is a big step towards softening our reactions. – Lelia Schott

In challenging moments when emotions are high and patience is low, we can respond instead of react.

By cultivating the ability to pause and tune into our emotions, we create space for understanding and acceptance. When we extend compassion to ourselves, we open the door to softer, more empathetic responses to others.

Quote 15: Look at yourself through the lens of compassion and understanding. Only then growth is possible. – Anna Aslanian, LMFT

Self-awareness is a powerful tool that allows us to evolve and thrive—both personally and professionally. By looking at ourselves through a lens of compassion, we open the door to endless opportunities for growth.

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Trauma triggers can be easy to miss—especially in children. But recognizing them is key to understanding behavior, offering meaningful support, and helping kids feel safe.

What’s a trauma trigger? A trigger is a reminder of past trauma. It can set off an emotional alarm system, causing feelings of overwhelming sadness, anxiety, or panic.

Common Trauma Triggers

Our capacity to navigate our triggers and recognize them in children is critical to our ability to provide gentle guidance and help kids grow strong.

Common trauma triggers include:

How Kids Respond to Trauma Triggers

A good indicator that trauma has been triggered is when response intensity doesn’t match the intensity of stressors or when behaviors seem confusing or inexplicable.

Look for Emotions Driving Behaviors

When navigating triggers, get curious. Look for the emotions driving behaviors and use mirroring as a tool for supportive conversations.

When we acknowledge we’re aware of children’s feelings & experiences, it’s normalizing. We don’t need to talk them out of their feelings—this kind of recognition is healing.

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Do you have a child who struggles with anxiety? If so, you know that anxious feelings can shine through in several less-than-straightforward ways—making them, at times, tricky to navigate.

Common Missed Signs of Anxiety

Quotes Illustrating How to Help Kids Navigate Anxiety

Below are seventeen quotes illustrating childhood anxiety, its trajectory, and how to support kids.

Quote 1: Anxiety doesn’t always look like a nervous child. Sometimes it looks like a quiet, angry, or difficult child. – Unknown

Anxiety in kids can be easy to miss if we’re only looking for signs of nervousness. More often than not, it hides behind behaviors we misread—like refusal, irritability, or silence.

What looks like “bad behavior” is often the language of distress. Kids who feel out of control inside will try to find control in the only ways they can.

Anxiety is the brain’s alarm system working overtime—scanning for danger and often misfiring.

Quote 2: Anxiety is often masked by aggression. – @raisinghumankind

Aggression can be anxiety’s armor. When a child feels emotionally cornered, they may fight their way out by yelling, hitting, or pushing limits.

This isn’t defiance—it’s protection. Many children don’t yet have the language to express what they’re feeling, so their body speaks for them.

Quote 3: Consistent anger from a child is often a sign of overwhelm and anxiety. – Sarah Boyd

When a child seems angry all the time, it’s easy to assume they’re just being difficult. But anger, especially when it becomes a pattern, is usually a sign that something deeper is going on.

Here’s what’s actually happening: Their nervous system is overwhelmed.

Instead of moving through stress and returning to calm, their body stays on high alert—stuck in a state that feels unsafe, even if there’s no obvious danger. That constant tension builds, and it often spills out as anger. It’s not about bad behavior. It’s about a body and brain that can’t reset.

What kids need isn’t harsher consequences—it’s support. Tools that help them feel safe, calm, and connected.

Without intervention, that stress response pattern can hardwire itself, following kids into adulthood and shaping how they respond to the world. Understanding this doesn’t mean we excuse the behavior—but it does change how we respond to it.

Quote 4: Frustration, anger, and fear shut down the thinking parts of our brain. When your child is dysregulated, they cannot access the smartest part of the brain until their emotions are calmed. – Institute of Child Psychology

Ever tried reasoning with a child mid-meltdown? It’s like trying to explain taxes to someone whose house is on fire. The brain literally can’t take in logic when it’s in panic mode.

Psychologist Daniel Goleman called this an “amygdala hijack”—when the emotional center of the brain (the amygdala) senses threat and takes over, sending the body into fight, flight, or freeze.

When this happens, the thinking part of the brain—responsible for decision-making and problem-solving—goes offline. At that moment, our job isn’t to fix the behavior with words. It’s to help their body feel safe again.

Fewer words.
Slower breath.
Calm presence.

You’re not teaching—they’re not ready to learn. You’re just helping the storm pass.

Quote 5: Young kids can feel big emotions or think with logic and reason. But they can’t do both at the same time. Connect first. Then reason. – @loveandletgrow

Picture the brain like a ladder. At the bottom are survival instincts—big emotions, impulsive reactions, fight or flight responses. At the top is logical thinking. When a child is upset, they’re down on the bottom rungs.

Dr. Bruce Perry, a leading expert in childhood trauma, teaches that the brain develops and responds in sequence: first we regulate, then we relate, and only then can we reason. That means emotional safety comes before problem-solving.

We can’t ask kids to think clearly if their body still feels under threat. Connection—eye contact, empathy, calm presence—is how we help them climb back up the ladder.

Quote 6: Remember, nobody (child or adult) thinks clearly when emotions are high. Wait for the wave to pass before working through the issue. – Inspired by Krysten Taprell

There’s a time to teach, and it’s not mid-meltdown. Kids need the emotional wave to pass before they can reflect, reset, and try again.

Be patient.

Patience doesn’t mean ignoring the behavior—it means picking the right moment to address it. When a child is dysregulated, their thinking brain goes offline. Giving them a chance to settle first helps bring that part of the brain back online—so they can hear you.

Quote 7: Few adults are comfortable in the presence of a child’s anger. We see it as disrespectful, embarrassing, or threatening. That’s a problem because these outbursts are often nested in worry, confusion, loneliness, anxiety, jealousy, or insecurity. What would happen if we trained ourselves to see children’s anger as an invitation to get curious? What if we practiced stepping toward our kids rather than sending them away until they’ve pulled themselves together? – Deborah Farmer Kris

Big feelings in kids tend to stir up big reactions in adults. But attachment research tells us that when children are dysregulated, they don’t need space from us—they need space with us. Step in, not back.

Your calm presence shows them that emotions aren’t something to be ashamed of—and that they don’t have to face them alone.

Quote 8: When we try to talk kids out of their emotions, they feel like we don’t understand. So their anxiety will then “fight” to be heard. – Unknown

Telling kids to “calm down” or “don’t worry” can feel invalidating—even if we mean well. What they hear is, “You’re overreacting.” When kids don’t feel heard, their anxiety gets louder.

A simple “That sounds really hard” can go a long way in helping them settle. Emotional validation helps the brain feel safe, which is a prerequisite for problem-solving.

Quote 9: If you punish a child for what was actually a stress-induced behavior, all you’ll do is add to the child’s stress load and your own. – Dr. Stuart Shanker

If a child could do better in a challenging moment, they would. Behaviors driven by stress or fear aren’t calculated—they’re reactive. Responding with punishment often makes it worse. What helps is recognizing the signal and responding with regulation. This approach doesn’t remove accountability—it creates a pathway to it.

Quote 10: Children never choose the meltdown or any anxiety-related behavior in the same way that you never choose to have a meltdown in front of your family, colleagues, or friends. A meltdown is not a choice; it’s a byproduct of a brain that isn’t coping with something. And that brain needs to be showered in love, compassion, and safety. Not punishment, fear, or shame. – Allison Davies

No one wants to lose control—not kids, not adults. When a child is melting down, their system is overwhelmed. What they need is an anchor. Someone calm. Someone steady. Someone who reminds them that they’re still safe. The goal is to co-regulate first—only then can reflection and repair happen.

Quote 11: Rhythm and ritual decrease the unknown in a child’s day, which soothes the nervous system and results in fewer meltdowns and less hard-to-navigate behaviors. – Inspired by @raisinghumankind

Kids thrive on knowing what’s next. Ever notice how a breakdown is more likely when plans change at the last minute or routines get skipped?

That’s not a coincidence—it’s brain science.

Dr. Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory explains that our nervous system is constantly scanning for cues of safety or danger. When things feel familiar and predictable, the brain relaxes. When they don’t, the brain prepares for threat.

This is why rituals and routines—like a morning goodbye hug or a nightly story—aren’t just nice traditions. They help calm the body and create the sense of safety anxious kids need to function well.

Quote 12: During high-stress moments or those of transition, provide kids with as much certainty and control as possible to reduce anxiety and increase their ability to cope emotionally. – Unknown

Transitions are fertile ground for anxiety. Offering small choices—what to wear, what book to bring—restores a child’s sense of control. When kids feel like they have a say, their stress load drops. And when they feel prepared, they feel safer.

Quote 13: Feeling out of control as a child creates a need to control as an adult. – @breakthecycle_coaching

When a child grows up in chaos—never sure what mood the adults will be in, or whether they’ll be praised or punished for the same behavior—they learn to brace themselves. Their nervous system stays on high alert, always scanning for what might go wrong. Over time, that constant tension can show up as anxiety, hypervigilance, and a deep need to control the world around them—because control feels like safety.

The CDC’s Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) study found that early experiences of abuse, neglect, and instability can significantly impact how the brain and body respond to stress. While the study doesn’t talk about control specifically, what we see in practice—and what other trauma research supports—is that kids from unpredictable environments often try to create order in whatever ways they can.

But here’s the powerful part: when we give kids voice and choice—when we let them feel heard and offer safe, predictable care—we help their nervous systems learn that not everything has to be a threat. We teach them that the world can be safe, and they do get a say.

Quote 14: People prefer the certainty of misery to the misery of uncertainty. – Virginia Satir

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy teaches us something important about anxiety: it feeds on unpredictability. When things feel uncertain or out of control, anxiety ramps up. That’s why kids often cling to what’s familiar—even if it isn’t working. The known feels safer than the unknown.

Virginia Satir’s words above couldn’t be more true for anxious kids. That’s why they may resist change, avoid new situations, or freeze when things feel uncertain. It’s not about defiance—it’s about survival.

The work isn’t to force them out of their comfort zone. It’s to stretch it gently. When we help kids tolerate discomfort—rather than avoid it—we expand their window of tolerance and help them build confidence.

Over time, they learn they can do hard things. And that’s when anxiety starts to loosen its grip.

Quote 15: If we allow kids to avoid the things they fear, they’ll enjoy the short-term relief of staying close to home and the long-term problem of continuing to feel fearful. – Dr. Lisa Damour

Avoidance brings relief—but only for a moment. Long-term, it feeds the fear. Supporting kids in facing fear in small steps helps them realize they’re more capable than they think.

Bravery isn’t fearlessness—it’s fear walked through. And every step builds the belief: “I can do hard things.”

Quote 16: If we want to help our children manage anxiety, we need to celebrate their bravery, not just their success. -Krysten Taprell

A child might not finish the race—but for some, showing up at the starting line takes everything. When we celebrate courage, not just outcomes, we reinforce what matters most: effort, resilience, and the belief that trying again is always worth it.

Highlight the process, not just the performance.

Quote 17: Feeling capable is a natural antidote to anxiety and depression in children and teens. – @drnicolebeurkens

Research on self-efficacy tells us that confidence is built through doing. Kids don’t need to be rescued from struggle—they need support while they move through it. The more capable they feel, the quieter their anxiety becomes.

Capability builds confidence—and confidence calms fear.

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Does your child wrestle with fearful or anxious feelings? If so, they’re not alone! Anxiety is common. In fact, it’s one of the most frequent mental health issues children face.

Surveys show that in 2021, 30-40% of kids grappled with feelings of anxiousness. And as parents, it’s essential we know how to support them.

Here are some signs of anxiety in children to look out for:

Do any of the signs above sound familiar? If so, we want to help! Here are a few tips on coaching your child through anxious feelings.

How to Help Kids with Anxiety

Tip #1: Relax their environment

Anxiety is a powerful emotion, and kids who grapple with it can easily get overwhelmed. One of the best things you can do when your child is feeling anxious is to reduce sensory stimulation, activity commitments, and pressure on their performance.

Tip #2: Help them name their worries & fears

When children have a good understanding of their feelings, they’re better able to cope with them. And that’s backed by research! In 2003, a study found that kids who could label their emotions in first grade had fewer anxiety symptoms four years down the road.

So, how does labeling emotions work? When kids name their feelings, it reduces the physiological stress response and shame attached to them. It also normalizes the human experience and helps them develop a healthy EQ.

Tip #3: Coach them to be brave

The only way to overcome fear is to face it. If we consistently run away from what makes us anxious, our anxiety only grows.

Support your child in confronting their fears, but make sure to move at a pace that feels comfortable and remind them – “You can do hard things.”

Tip #4: Reach out for support

Is your child struggling? If so, we’re here to help! With everything from therapy to in-home caregiver support and more, we provide services tailored to the unique needs of each child we serve designed to empower families in treatment.

Contact us online to learn more about getting your child support through any of our locations across Montana.

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Feeling the pressure to be a perfect parent? Mindful parenting offers a better path—one grounded in research showing that practicing presence, connection, and emotional awareness can lower family stress, strengthen parent-child bonds, and support healthy emotional development.

At its core, mindful parenting means bringing intentional, nonjudgmental awareness to your interactions with your child—staying open, present, and compassionate, even when things get tough. It’s not about perfection. It’s about embracing imperfection, navigating difficult emotions, and choosing to respond with intention instead of reacting on autopilot.

Practicing mindfulness deepens your bond with your children—and strengthens every relationship in your life.

7 Ways to Practice Mindful Parenting

Here are seven ways to bring mindfulness into your parenting—and beyond.

Make space for your emotions.

You’ve likely heard the phrase, “what we resist persists”—and it’s true. Emotions that we push away tend to grow stronger.

Mindful parenting starts with allowing yourself to sit with your feelings without judgment. When big emotions surface, take a moment to pause, name what you’re feeling, and move through it with compassion.

The more we make space for our own emotions, the more space we create for others’ too.

Practice acceptance.

Life isn’t perfect. Some days you’ll burn dinner, your kids will act out, and everything will feel off track. Mindful parenting is about releasing the illusion of control and meeting each moment as it is—not as you wish it would be.

Practicing acceptance with your kids builds your muscle to practice it with partners, friends, and coworkers too.

Stay flexible.

Plans fall apart. Routines get disrupted. Kids—and adults—struggle with change. Mindful parenting invites you to stay flexible, pausing before reacting and responding thoughtfully instead.

Flexibility not only eases conflict with kids—it makes all your relationships more resilient.

Lead with compassion.

When kids are hungry, tired, or overwhelmed, their behavior often spirals. Instead of focusing only on the behavior, mindful parenting invites us to look beneath it—to the need underneath. Compassion doesn’t eliminate boundaries; it makes them more human.

In every relationship, compassion opens doors that criticism never can.

Forgive often.

Parenting offers daily lessons in forgiveness—for yourself and for your children. Mindful parenting reminds us that mistakes aren’t failures—they’re opportunities to repair and reconnect.

Learning to forgive in small moments with your child lays the groundwork for deeper forgiveness with everyone in your life.

Practice gratitude.

Mindfulness and gratitude go hand in hand. When you intentionally notice the good—the moments of laughter, connection, and growth—you nurture a mindset of joy and abundance.

Gratitude naturally spills into how you show up with everyone, from your family to your community.

Stay present.

The past is behind you, and the future isn’t guaranteed. All you truly have is this moment.

Mindful parenting is about showing up fully—whether you’re reading a bedtime story, cooking dinner together, or simply listening.

Presence transforms relationships, creating the trust and connection we all crave.

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Who said raising teens was easy? I don’t know about you, but I always thought things would get easier as my kids got older. But once they reached puberty, parenting became a whole new playing field.

Raising teens means your people skills need to be on point. Empathy, mindful communications, patience—all are essential for guiding your soon-to-be adult.

Below are twelve quotes on raising teens.

12 Quotes to Guide You in Raising Teens

#1: Don’t ever pass over an opportunity for connection with your teen.

Quote: No matter what kind of day you had today, if your teen comes to you and wants to talk or hang out, drop everything and do it. Don’t miss a golden opportunity to connect on their terms. – Raising Teens Today

#2: Let your teen talk and really listen.

Quote: Take the time to listen to your teenager, no matter how emotional or ridiculous their statements sound to you. When someone doesn’t feel valued or heard, their desire to participate in a relationship disappears. – Parenting Teens & Tweens

#3: Sometimes, your teen doesn’t want you to fix anything. They just want to be heard.

Quote: Sometimes, when our teens open up to us, they are not looking for us to fix their problems. They are just looking for a safe place to share their pain. – Parenting Tweens & Teens

#4: Don’t meet your teen’s aggression with aggression. Squash it with good communication, empathy, and kindness.

Quote: The louder your teen gets, the quieter you should be. The angrier your teen becomes, the gentler you should become. The meaner your teen behaves, the kinder you should be. – Eva Rito

#5: Read between the lines and look for the communication behind the behavior.

Quote: I knew I was finally becoming the kind of parent my teen needed when I stopped taking everything they said personally and started becoming compassionately curious about what they were really trying to communicate. – Raising Teens Today

#6: Sometimes, natural consequences are the best teacher. No lectures are needed.

Quote: When my child has made a poor decision that has led to a painful lesson, the last thing they need is a side of belittlement and condescension from me. – Raising Teens Today

#7: Your teen will learn to navigate relationships based on the one they have with you. Teach them healthy conflict resolution skills.

Quote: Setting an example for healthy conflict resolution skills and modeling forgiveness is better than never having conflict. – Inspired by Sarah Boyd

#8: Your teen needs unconditional love and acceptance.

Quote: Most teens need love and acceptance a lot more than they need advice. – Bob Goff

#9: Help them develop a healthy sense of confidence.

Quote: Nothing can shake our teen’s confidence more than being fed the notion that something’s wrong with them simply because they don’t measure up in our eyes. – Raising Teens Today

#10: EQ is critical! Foster it in your teen! Studies show that emotional intelligence is one of the single most significant contributing factors to success in adulthood.

Quote: If a child can do advanced math, speak three languages, and receive top grades, but can’t manage their emotions, practice conflict resolution, or handle stress—no amount of education is going to matter. – Unknown

#11: Mistakes are part of the learning process. Don’t make your teen’s acceptance conditional on achievement.

Quote: Children who are too obsessed with perfection can become hard on themselves, have unreachable expectations, and avoid challenges. Work with them to develop a healthier attitude about achievement. – Benjamin Mizrahi

#12: Your teen needs to know that nothing will make you love them anymore or less.

Quote: Teenagers long to know that there’s nothing they can do to make us love them more, and there’s nothing they can do to make us love them less. – Mark Gregston

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Let’s be real—parenting can feel overwhelming. With advice coming from every direction, it’s easy to get lost in the noise. When things feel especially tough, these positive parenting keys will help you refocus on what truly matters: connection, calm, and collaboration.

Below are three strategies that can bring clarity and intention back to your parenting—even on the hard days.

3 Positive Parenting Keys

🗝️ Relationship Comes First

Rules and structure matter—but without relationship, they often fall flat. When kids feel emotionally connected and seen, they’re more likely to cooperate and trust your guidance. If that connection breaks down, you’ll often see it show up in their behavior.

Try this: Slow down. Listen without jumping to fix. Make time for small moments of connection. When your relationship is strong, everything else becomes easier.

🗝️ Co-Regulate to Calm Emotions

Big emotions are contagious—and so is calm. Kids don’t learn to regulate their emotions on their own. First, they borrow our calm presence until they’re able to build that skill for themselves.

Try this: Take a deep breath together. Get down on their level. Offer your steady presence. This kind of co-regulation is a core piece of positive parenting and helps build emotional strength—for both of you.

🗝️ Work Through Solutions Together

Is your child facing something challenging? Work through it with them, not for them. This teaches problem-solving, encourages trust, and builds their confidence over time.

Try this: Ask, “What do you think we can do about this?” Collaborating like this supports kids in building skills for life and can turn moments of conflict into connection—helping kids feel capable and seen.

Keep the Keys Close

You don’t need to have all the answers. On the hard days, come back to these three positive parenting keys:

🗝️ Build connection
🗝️ Co-regulate emotions
🗝️ Solve problems side by side

Let go of perfection—and stay focused on what matters most.

Need Support?

Yellowstone Boys and Girls Ranch (YBGR) provides a full continuum of children’s behavioral health care designed to wrap families up in support and empower caregivers. Contact us today to learn more.

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Article adapted from a Facebook post by Krysten Taprell @ The Therapist Parent.

Feeling exhausted? You’re not alone.

In today’s world, caregiver burnout is more common than ever—especially for those juggling parenting, work, and the endless demands of life. Whether you’re a stay-at-home parent or balancing a full-time career with caregiving responsibilities, the emotional and physical toll adds up fast.

In fact, an article by Investopedia reports that stay-at-home parents work an average of 98 hours per week—and for working caregivers, that number only increases.

Without a strategy to manage stress and prevent caregiver burnout, it’s easy to run on empty. Here are six practical tips to help you recharge, protect your well-being, and bring your best self to those who depend on you.

Tips to Combat Caregiver Burnout

Connect with others.

Social support is a must for parents! Studies show that when caregivers are connected and have an open dialogue on stress and burnout, it serves as a buffer against it. So, carve out time for friends, family, and build a tribe you can lean on.

Re-evaluate your stress.

Mindset is a critical component of navigating stress. The truth is, how we look at our circumstances directly affects how they impact us. So, explore areas of your life that make you grateful. And if you’re confronting parenting challenges, ask yourself, “How can I use these as opportunities to grow?”

Make small changes.

Do you feel trapped by your parenting responsibilities? If so, make small changes to help you manage stress over the long haul. For example, try delegating tasks among family members, cutting down on commitments, or scheduling carpools with other parents.

Let go of perfectionism.

No one’s perfect. And when we shoot for such an unrealistic mark, we put unnecessary pressure on ourselves—creating stress and fostering feelings of shame when we don’t live up to our expectations.

So, drop the “should” statements and swap them for “it would be great if I had more energy to…” instead. Reframing like this will help you deal with your current reality rather than what you think it should be.

Take microbreaks.

Self-care is a critical component of managing stress and burnout recovery. Yet, being a caregiver is a full-time job, so taking long breaks or vacations for yourself isn’t always realistic. But you can take tiny moments throughout your day.

Try sitting in your car to listen to a guided meditation after grocery shopping or going into the bathroom for five minutes to practice deep breathing to enhance your resilience.

Find meaning.

Has stress brought you to the point of detachment? If so, take the time to re-explore and connect to your values.

What are the meaningful aspects of parenting? Don’t get lost in the drudgery of your role. Instead, dive deep, and don’t forget the purpose behind your work.

Need support?

We provide a wide range of wraparound mental health services that support caregivers and help kids heal. Contact us online to learn more about help available through Yellowstone Boys and Girls Ranch (YBGR).

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Got grit? By grit, I mean the stubborn refusal to quit: the mindset—the mental fortitude to navigate even the most challenging circumstances.

The truth is that the discipline and attitude we bring into each day are critical—they determine our ability to succeed in our endeavors, resilience in the face of adversity, and even play a key role in our mental health.

So, what exactly is grit? It’s a unique blend of passion and perseverance. Below are eighteen quotes illustrating the path to being gritty.

18 Quotes Exploring Grit

Quote 1: At its core, the idea of purpose is the idea that what we do matters to people other than ourselves. – Angela Duckworth

Quote 2: Purpose is the reason you journey. Passion is the fire that lights the way. – Anonymous

Quote 3: Passion begins with intrinsically enjoying what you do. – Angela Duckworth

Quote 4: Our potential is one thing. What we do with it is quite another. – Angela Duckworth

Quote 5: As much as talent counts, effort counts twice. – Angela Duckworth

Quote 6: Without effort, your skill is nothing more than what you could have done but didn’t. – Angela Duckworth

Quote 7: The only thing that I see that is distinctly different about me is: I’m not afraid to die on a treadmill. I will not be outworked, period. You might have more talent than me. You might be smarter than me. You might be more attractive than me. You might be all of those things; you got it on me in nine categories. But if we get on a treadmill together, there are two things: You’re getting off first, or I’m going to die. It’s really that simple. – Inspired by Will Smith

Quote 8: It was passion and perseverance that made high achievers special. In a word, they had grit. – Angela Duckworth

Quote 9: It soon became clear that doing one thing better and better might be more satisfying than staying an amateur at many different things. – Angela Duckworth

Quote 10: Life is more about consistency than about intensity. Intensity steals the limelight. – Angela Duckworth

Quote 11: Grit is passion and perseverance for very long-term goals. Grit is having stamina. Grit is sticking with your future, day-in, day-out. Not just for the week, not just for the month, but for years. And working really hard to make that future a reality. Grit is living life like it’s a marathon, not a sprint. – Angela Duckworth

Quote 12: Grit is having the courage to push through, no matter what the obstacles are, because it’s worth it. – Chris Morris

Quote 13: To be gritty is to keep putting one foot in front of the other. To be gritty is to hold fast to an interesting and purposeful goal. To be gritty is to invest, day after week after year, in challenging practice. To be gritty is to fall down seven times and rise eight. – Angela Duckworth

Quote 14: Grit is choosing to hang on when you desperately want to let go. – Anonymous

Quote 15: Strength doesn’t come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you thought you could not. – Rikki Rogers

Quote 16: True grit is making a decision and standing by it, doing what must be done. No moral man can have peace of mind if he leaves undone what he knows he should have done. – John Wayne

Quote 17: Use mistakes and problems as opportunities to get better — not reasons to quit. – Angela Duckworth

Quote 18: Grit is about having what researchers call an “ultimate concern,” a goal you care about so much that it organizes and gives meaning to almost everything you do. And grit is holding steadfast to that goal even when you fall down. – Angela Duckworth

Curious to dive deeper into the science behind grit?

Angela Duckworth’s book Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance is a must-read. It’s packed with powerful research, real-life stories, and practical insights on how grit shapes success—not just for adults, but for kids too. Highly recommended for anyone passionate about personal growth and resilience.

Want more?

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Are you familiar with labeling theory? Sociology buffs probably are. It proposes that people come to both identify and behave in ways reflecting the labels we place on them— Essentially, how we label people impacts their behavior.

The theory helps explain changes often occurring in individuals diagnosed with mental health conditions—suggesting cultural ideas associated with mental illness become personally relevant for those struggling.

Labels, and the stigma associated with them, lead to internalized negative self-beliefs, resulting in secrecy around diagnosis, reluctance to seek treatment, and social withdrawal.

Diagnosis is frequently necessary for kids to access treatment. But that label need not define them.

Instead, there’s a more robust approach. Everyone has a unique set of strengths that, when illuminated, helps them shine!

A Different Perspective—Focus on Strengths!

Want to know the secret to engaging kids and families in behavioral health services? It starts with focusing on strengths! Studies show positive outcomes happen when we build on competencies instead of concentrating on deficits.

Below are nine guiding principles of a strength-based approach:

Shining a Light on Strengths! How to Leverage a Strength-Based Approach

Interested in learning more about how you can use a strength-based approach to drive excellent outcomes in your work with kids? Check out the tips below!

#1: Emphasize positive outcomes

Focus on positive and healthy treatment outcomes for kids, such as self-confidence, connectedness, and healthy relationships with their family, friends, and community.

And don’t forget to highlight positive traits like strong character or being caring and compassionate.

#2: Involve kids in decision-making

Kids and caregivers should be able to voice their opinions and reason through decisions with their mental health providers.

#3: Emphasize collaboration

Echoing the previous recommendation, give kids every opportunity to collaborate regarding their treatment! To engage kids in their strengths, they need to feel empowered and supported.

#4: Provide stability

Long-term involvement builds trust and helps children understand how to develop and maintain supportive relationships. Avoid frequent treatment team member changes and discontinuing support services before kids are ready.

#5: Connect kids to their community

Make sure kids have lots of opportunities for community involvement. Link them to local committees, school activities, youth groups—whatever lights their fire and keeps them connected!

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Did you know that sixty percent of us lay claim to childhood trauma? It’s an astounding number. And every year, over thirty-four million more kids are touched by it.

Below are seventeen quotes on childhood trauma and the journey to healing.

Quotes on Childhood Trauma & Healing

Quote 1: Childhood trauma doesn’t come in one single package. – Dr. Asa Don Brown

Quote 2: Behavior is the language of trauma. Children will show you before they tell you that they are in distress. – Micere Keels

Quote 3: Nine times out of ten, the story behind the misbehavior won’t make you angry; it will break your heart. – Annette Breaux

Quote 4: Children don’t get traumatized because they are hurt. They get traumatized because they’re alone with the hurt. – Dr. Gabor Mate

Quote 5: Students with childhood trauma don’t have faulty brains. They have minds designed in threatening environments to help them survive. – Inspired by Peggy Leigh

Quote 6: Repeated childhood trauma causes a child to live in a constant state of hypervigilance, always alert to impending perceived danger. – Unknown

Quote 7: Kids with trauma history don’t need more punishment. And quite frankly, they don’t need more stickers. – Dr. Ross Greene

Quote 8: A child who has experienced trauma will sometimes show they feel connected to an attachment figure by releasing all their big emotions in their presence. What may appear as disconnection may actually be a sign of trust. – J. Milburn

Quote 9: People raised on love see things differently than those raised on survival. – Joy Marino

Quote 10: Our brains are wired for connection, but trauma rewires them for protection. That’s why healthy relationships are difficult for wounded people. – Ryan North

Quote 11: Trauma comes back as a reaction, not a memory. – Bessel Van Der Kolk

Quote 12: A trigger is anything that sets you off emotionally and activates memories of your trauma. It’s particular to you and what your experience has been. Triggered, we revert to the feelings and behaviors we had in the traumatizing situation. – @healingfromtrauma

Quote 13: As traumatized children, we always dreamed that someone would come and save us. We never dreamed that it would, in fact, be ourselves as adults. – Alice Little

Quote 14: When it feels disheartening to learn that trauma changes the brain, remember that healing changes the brain, too. – @howhumansheal

Quote 15: Trauma is a result of an overwhelming sense of danger, powerlessness, and fear. Healing is a result of feeling safe, empowered, and supported. – Unknown

Quote 16: People start to heal the moment they feel heard. – Cheryl Richardson

Quote 17: There’s a saying that goes, “Hurt people will hurt people.” But I rarely hear the opposite, “Healed people heal people.” Get healed. Then, go heal. – Unknown

Want More?

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Want to raise kids with grit? The mindset to weather difficulties—the passion and perseverance to push through challenges to achieve long–term goals.

Check out the short Ted Talk by Angela Duckworth, Ph.D., below to learn more about grit and its importance.

Grittiness is one of the most significant predictors of success—more than talent and I.Q. combined. And today, we know a little more about how to help kids develop it.

Below are twenty-one quotes illustrating how to raise kids with grit.

Quotes on Raising Kids with Grit

Quote 1: My father didn’t tell me how to live; he lived and let me watch him do it. – Clarence Budington Kelland

Kids don’t learn grit through lectures—they learn it by watching how you respond to challenges. If they see you keep going when things get tough, they learn that perseverance is normal—not something special or rare. They model their mindset after yours.

Quote 2: The attitude you have as a parent is what your kids will learn. They don’t remember what you try to teach them. They remember who you are. – Inspired by Jim Henson

You don’t need the perfect words. Your tone, your reactions, your effort—all of that teaches your kids how to handle life. If you stay calm during stress or keep trying after a failure, your kids pick up on that. Grit is caught, not taught.

Quote 3: Children have this way of becoming who we tell them they are. If we tell them they are strong, they become strong. If we tell them they are kind, they become kind. If we tell them they are capable, they become capable. Speak life into your kids, so they will have what it takes to tackle their own life one day. – Amy Weatherly

A child’s sense of identity forms early, and it shapes what they believe they can handle. If you consistently speak strength and capability into them, they begin to believe they can face difficulty. Kids who see themselves as capable are more likely to persist through setbacks.

Quote 4: My teacher once told me, “You’re going to do big things.” It made me feel 10 feet tall. I’ve remembered his words during the darkest lows and the highest highs. I always knew he believed in me—and that helped me believe in myself. Never underestimate the power of words. – Leslie Means

Encouragement doesn’t just boost confidence—it builds a child’s narrative about who they are. One meaningful comment can echo in a child’s mind for years, especially during hard times. That belief becomes a foundation for grit.

Quote 5: Don’t tell your kids, “I’m proud of you,” tell them, “You should be proud of yourself.” – Kristen Welch

If a child only works for adult approval, they’ll stop trying when no one’s watching. But if they learn to feel pride in their own effort, they develop the inner motivation that keeps them going—even when it’s hard and no one’s clapping.

Quote 6: Don’t waste a lot of time and money pushing kids in directions they don’t want to go. Instead, find out what weirdness they excel at and encourage them to do that. Then get out of the way. – Seth Godin

Passion drives perseverance. When kids are forced down a path that doesn’t fit, they resist. But if they’re encouraged to pursue what they love, they’ll stick with it through struggle. Grit is more likely to grow where there’s natural interest.

Quote 7: Instead of focusing on making your child’s life easier, help them recognize they are capable of handling hard things. – @dr.siggie

It’s natural to want to protect your child from struggle, but doing so sends the message they can’t handle it. When kids are trusted to face hard things—with your support—they learn to believe in their own strength, which builds resilience.

Quote 8: Self-esteem can’t be given or received. It’s developed through a sense of capability and the self-confidence gained from dealing with disappointments, solving problems, and having lots of opportunities to learn from mistakes. – Inspired by Jane Nelson

Real confidence doesn’t come from praise—it comes from doing. Each time a child faces something hard, learns from a mistake, or bounces back from disappointment, they gain proof they can handle life. That’s how grit and self-esteem grow.

Quote 9: If we’re not preparing our kids for the small challenges while they are young, how will they ever be prepared for the larger challenges and losses we all face as adults? – Brandon & Pace Verner

Struggles in childhood aren’t just bumps in the road—they’re training grounds. When kids are allowed to work through minor issues now, they build the emotional muscles they’ll need to handle bigger ones later. Grit grows in layers.

Quote 10: If parents want to give their children a gift, the best thing they can do is to teach them to love challenges, be intrigued by mistakes, enjoy effort, and keep on learning. That way, their children don’t have to be slaves to praise. They will have a lifelong way to build and repair their own confidence. – Carol Dweck

Kids who are obsessed with praise often avoid challenges—because failure feels like the end. But if we teach them that effort matters most, they’ll start to value learning over looking good. That shift is at the heart of grit.

Quote 11: By loving them for more than their abilities, we show our children that they are much more than the sum of their accomplishments. – Eileen Kennedy-Moore

When kids feel valued only for their accomplishments, failure becomes terrifying. But if they know they’re loved no matter what, they’re more likely to take risks, try again, and keep growing. That emotional safety is key to building grit.

Quote 12: When we give them permission to fail, we give them permission to be brave. – Karen Young

Kids can’t be brave if they’re afraid of disappointing you. But when you normalize failure, you give them the freedom to take risks. Grit isn’t about never falling—it’s about learning to get back up without shame.

Quote 13: When we shield children from failure or choreograph success for them, we’re distorting the experiences they need in order to grow. – Madeline Levine, Ph.D.

Struggle is how kids develop coping skills. When we step in too often, we deny them the practice they need to manage stress, problem-solve, and build confidence. Protecting them from all hardship actually makes them more fragile.

Quote 14: Let them fail. Life is not always going to be kind, and they won’t always reach their goals or achieve what they want but learning how to deal with these failures is a critical life lesson. They have to develop the internal drive and grit to not let these setbacks permanently undermine them. When they fail but then dust themselves off and get back up to face their next challenge, it helps them recognize their own strength and resilience. – Parenting Teens & Tweens

Failure teaches grit, but only if kids experience it firsthand. When they learn they can survive disappointment, it builds strength and a sense of control. Each time they rise again, they become more resilient.

Quote 15: Teach your kids that: Success is not final; failure is not fatal; it’s the courage to continue that counts. – Winston A. Churchill

Grit isn’t about one big win—it’s about staying the course. Kids need to know that setbacks don’t define them and success isn’t a finish line. What really matters is showing up again tomorrow.

Quote 16: Got a 2.4 GPA my first semester in college. Thought maybe I wasn’t cut out for engineering. Today, I’ve landed two spacecrafts on Mars and am designing one for the moon. STEM is hard for everyone. Grades ultimately aren’t what matters. Curiosity and persistence matter. – Ben Cichy

Early struggles don’t mean kids aren’t cut out for something. Grit means sticking with a goal despite early failure. What predicts long-term success isn’t talent—it’s determination and a willingness to keep learning.

Quote 17: It is not what you do for your children but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings. – Ann Landers

Doing things for your child might help today—but teaching them to do it themselves builds long-term grit. Kids feel more capable when they can take ownership of their world, one step at a time.

Quote 18: Most of us will perform best at any job or role when we are entrusted with it rather than over-managed, doubted, or nit-picked. Children are no different. – Janet Lansbury

Micromanagement signals, “I don’t trust you.” Autonomy says, “You’ve got this.” Grit flourishes when kids are trusted to try, fail, and try again—without fear of being constantly corrected or doubted.

Quote 19: Raise your kids with the strength to know what they stand for, yet the humility to listen, learn, and grow. – Unknown

Grit doesn’t mean being stubborn. It means knowing when to stand firm and when to learn something new. Kids need both courage and curiosity to grow into strong, adaptable adults.

Quote 20: Strong-willed kids become adults who change the world as long as we can hang on for the ride and resist the temptation to “tame” the spirit out of them. – Unknown

That intensity you see in your child? It’s not a flaw—it’s fuel. Gritty kids often start as spirited ones. The key is helping them channel that energy, not squash it.

Quote 21: If I get one thing right in this parenting gig, I want my children to understand how their actions impact others. I want them to always think about what they can offer the world instead of what they can get from it. And I hope they always remember they are a part of something bigger than themselves. – Whitney Fleming

Purpose gives grit its direction. When kids believe they matter—that their actions affect others—they’re more likely to keep going, even when life gets hard. It’s not just about achieving. It’s about contributing.

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Why do some kids bounce back after setbacks while others seem to struggle? The answer lies in resilience—a child’s ability to adapt and grow stronger in the face of adversity.

In psychology, resilience is often defined as the ability to adapt well during stress, trauma, or hardship. And in today’s world, nurturing resilience in kids is more critical than ever.

The 7 Cs of Resilience

Developed by pediatrician and resilience expert Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg, the 7 Cs are key building blocks that help children develop the strength they need to navigate life’s ups and downs. Here’s how you can support each one:

#1: Competence

Developing competence builds the foundation for resilience. When children recognize their strengths and abilities, they begin to see themselves as capable of handling whatever life throws at them.

You can help your child feel competent by nurturing their unique talents, praising effort over outcome, and giving them space to try—and sometimes fail—on their own. These experiences boost self-esteem and encourage them to step outside their comfort zone, growing new skills in the process.

#2: Confidence

Confidence empowers kids to explore new challenges and bounce back from failure. It gives them the belief that they can face hard things and keep going.

Support confidence by giving children opportunities to try age-appropriate tasks on their own. Celebrate effort, not just results, and remind them that mistakes are a natural part of learning. Confidence is essential to building long-term resilience.

#3: Connection

Connection is one of the most powerful protective factors when building resilience. Feeling supported gives children the emotional anchor they need to face tough times.

Help kids develop a sense of belonging by connecting them with peers and mentors through clubs, sports, youth groups, or school activities. A child who feels seen, loved, and accepted is more likely to weather emotional storms with strength.

#4: Coping

Healthy coping skills help kids manage stress, solve problems, and regulate emotions—all critical components of resilience.

You can support coping by modeling calm responses to stress, teaching kids healthy tools like deep breathing, journaling, or movement, and giving them chances to practice. When children have access to these tools, they’re better prepared to face life’s inevitable challenges.

#5: Control

Kids who believe they have some control over their lives are more likely to engage, make decisions, and take ownership of their outcomes. This sense of agency is a major contributor to resilience.

Give your child choices and involve them in decisions where appropriate. Creating opportunities for kids to problem-solve and make meaningful decisions builds critical thinking skills and increases their sense of capability.

#6: Character

Character is shaped by knowing what you stand for and choosing to act in alignment with your values. It’s the moral compass that helps kids stay grounded, even in tough situations.

You can help your child build character by talking about your family’s values, recognizing acts of kindness and integrity, and emphasizing empathy. Kids with strong character are better able to make decisions that reflect who they want to be—even under pressure.

#7: Contribution

When kids feel that they matter and can make a difference, they’re more likely to believe they have a place in the world. This belief reinforces confidence, connection, and a resilient mindset.

Encourage contribution through volunteering, helping others, or simple acts of kindness. When we thank kids for their efforts and highlight the good they bring to others, we show them they’re not just recipients of care—they’re capable of giving it, too.

Building Resilience—One Day at a Time

Resilience isn’t something kids are born with—it’s something we build together, through daily actions, encouragement, and trust. By focusing on the 7 Cs, we create the conditions where children not only bounce back—but soar.

Need Support?

Yellowstone Boys and Girls Ranch (YBGR) provides a wide range of mental health care to build resilience in kids and families. Contact us online to get involved today.

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Check out the rest of our blog and follow us on social media. You can find us on LinkedIn at Yellowstone Boys and Girls Ranch, Instagram at @ybgr_cares, and Facebook at Yellowstone Boys and Girls Ranch.

For some, the topic of childhood trauma is still taboo. If we told you experiences growing up could impact your long-term health, would you believe us?

Understanding the Long-Term Impact of Childhood Trauma

For those of us working in human services, the idea that trauma can affect your mental and physical health is nothing new. But for those outside the field, it may sound unfamiliar—or even far-fetched.

The ACE Study: Groundbreaking Research That Changed Everything

In the mid to late ’90s, the link between childhood trauma and adult health came into the spotlight. In collaboration with the CDC, Kaiser Permanente conducted a study with over 17,000 participants that shook the medical and mental health communities.

The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study revealed a clear, powerful connection between early trauma and lifelong health outcomes—ranging from obesity and cancer to addiction and early death.

What Are ACEs?

The study identified six main categories of adverse experiences:

1. Experiencing violence, abuse, or neglect
2. Witnessing violence in the home or community
3. Having a family member attempt or die by suicide
4. Substance misuse in the household
5. Mental health challenges in the household
6. Family instability due to separation, divorce, or incarceration

Each experience counts as one point toward an ACE score. The more points someone has, the higher their risk for serious health issues later in life.

More than 60% of people report at least one ACE.

Curious about your ACE score? Take the quiz.

Can Trauma Really Make You Physically Sick?

Yes—research shows that the body remembers. Chronic stress in childhood can alter brain development, hormone levels, immune response, and more. Over time, these changes increase the risk for a wide range of physical and mental health conditions.

But Trauma Doesn’t Define You

Here’s what’s important: trauma may increase risk, but it doesn’t guarantee poor outcomes. Protective factors can dramatically change the trajectory of a child’s life.

These include:

• A child’s individual strengths and unique personality traits
• Supportive family and community networks
• Safe environments
• And most of all—at least one caring adult

How You Can Be a Protective Factor

Our time with children is critical. Your steady presence matters whether you’re a parent, grandparent, teacher, or mentor. Watching a movie, making dinner together, or simply showing up can be healing.

If you work in the helping field, your impact is real. You’re building stronger families and creating a safety net for vulnerable youth—shielding them from the weight of trauma.

Want to Help? You’re Needed More Than Ever

If you’ve been thinking about getting involved, this is your sign. We’re always looking for caring adults to become mentors, foster parents, mental health workers, and more.

Visit our foster care or career pages to learn how you can make a difference.

Need Help for a Child in Your Life?

Trauma doesn’t always show up in obvious ways—it can hide in behavior, anxiety, sleep problems, or even physical illness. But there is help.

Each year, we deliver mental health care to thousands of children and families through our locations across Montana. If a child in your life needs support, contact us online today.

Want More?

Check out the rest of our blog and follow us on social media. You can find us on LinkedIn at Yellowstone Boys and Girls Ranch, Instagram at @ybgr_cares, and Facebook at Yellowstone Boys and Girls Ranch.

“There are no shortcuts to excellence. Developing real expertise, figuring out really hard problems—it all takes time—longer than most people imagine. Grit is about working on something you care about so much that you’re willing to stay loyal to it. It’s doing what you love, but not just falling in love—staying in love.” – Angela Duckworth

What if doing well in school and life depends on much more than just our ability to learn quickly and easily?

Well, that’s just what Angela Duckworth, Ph.D., found in her groundbreaking research on grit over a decade ago! She studied everyone from grade school students to West Point Military Academy cadets—even partnering with private companies to explore who stayed and excelled in challenging roles such as sales.

Her work found that the most significant factor for success across settings wasn’t IQ, physical health, social intelligence, or good looks. It was grit!

In one study done with Chicago public school students, Angela found that kids scoring high on a grit scale questionnaire were significantly more likely to graduate—even when matched against characteristics like:

• Family income
• Standardized achievement test scores
• And even how safe kids feel when they are at school

Angela’s Ted Talk, featured at the beginning of this article, was filmed in 2013. Today, we know much more about grit and how to foster it in kids, adults, organizations, and communities.

How gritty are you?

Click here to find out! And to learn more about grit and how to grow it in yourself and others, check out Angela Duckworth’s book, Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance.

Want more?

Did you find this article helpful? If so, check out the rest of our blog and follow us on social media. You can find us on LinkedIn at Yellowstone Boys and Girls Ranch, Instagram at @ybgr_cares, and Facebook at Yellowstone Boys and Girls Ranch.

Do you have experience navigating stress? I bet your answer’s yes. I mean, who doesn’t? It’s unavoidable in today’s world. But there are things we can do to mitigate it.

Below are thirteen quotes on the journey through stress and how to traverse it successfully.

13 Quotes on Navigating Stress

Quote 1: I am so emotionally drained. I can feel myself shutting down. – Unknown

Quote 2: I will simply breathe, and it will be okay because I don’t quit. – Unknown

Quote 3: Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is rather than as you think it should be. – Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

Quote 4: Stress acts as an accelerator: it will push you either forward or backward, but you choose which direction. – Chelsea Erieau

Quote 5: Stress is not what happens to us. It is our response to what happens. And response is something we can choose. – Maureen Killoran

Quote 6: The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. – William James

Quote 7: It’s not stress that kills us. It’s our reaction to it. – Hans Selye

Quote 8: It’s not the load that breaks you down. It’s the way you carry it. – Lou Holtz

Quote 9: Stress is the inability to decide what’s important. – Unknown

Quote 10: You can do anything—but not everything. – David Allen

Quote 11: The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule but to schedule your priorities. – Stephen Covey

Quote 12: In stressful times, it’s okay to not be perfect. It’s okay to cut yourself some slack. Because right now, you might not be your best self. But you are growing, and you are trying your best, and that is good enough. – Ashley Hetherington

Quote 13: I will breathe. I will think of solutions. I will not let my worry control me. I will not stress myself out about things I can’t control or change. – Shayne McClendon

Want More?

Check out the rest of our blog and follow us on social media. You can find us on LinkedIn at Yellowstone Boys and Girls Ranch, Instagram at @ybgr_cares, and Facebook at Yellowstone Boys and Girls Ranch.

Did you know that two-thirds of kids experience trauma during childhood? It’s a staggering number. Right?

Here are a few ways that trauma can affect children’s overall well-being:

The impact of trauma can range widely, depending on many different factors, including a child’s relationships with caring adults, social supports, and unique personal characteristics.

And often, childhood trauma can even influence children’s ability to form healthy, trusting bonds with caregivers.

Here are a few tips to help you build the trust you need to guide kids with trauma history and help them heal.

Provide structure

Create a routine and ensure that your child understands rules and expectations clearly. Doing so will create a sense of safety and help them thrive.

Use positive discipline

Punitive, physical, or inconsistent discipline can be a trigger for kids with a history of trauma and be counterproductive to your ability to guide them.

Here are some positive discipline methods you can leverage:

• Ignore mild misbehavior
• Praise good behavior
• Frame things as incentives versus pointing out negative consequences
• Redirect attention
• Offer choices
• Provide rewards
• Use time in vs. time outs

Be consistent & show warmth

Trust in any relationship is built on consistent positive interactions. Show warmth towards your child, even during conflict and discipline. And if you slip up, make sure to repair the situation with an apology and good communication.

Be sensitive to trauma

Be mindful of a child’s background and avoid putting them in a position where they feel cornered or threatened. For example, if children have a history of sexual trauma, be mindful of their physical boundaries and unexpected touch.

Need support?

We provide a wide range of wraparound mental health services that help kids and families heal. Contact us online to get a child help today.

Did you find this article helpful?

Check out the rest of our blog and follow us on social media. You can find us on LinkedIn at Yellowstone Boys and Girls Ranch, Instagram at @ybgr_cares, and Facebook at Yellowstone Boys and Girls Ranch.

Do you know the signs of depression in kids? They’re easy to miss. Yet, when overlooked, the outcome can be tragic.

Data shows that suicide is the second leading cause of death in youth, and a significant portion of those who pass are confronting the condition.

Below are eight indicators of childhood depression that every parent needs to be familiar with.

Signs of Depression in Kids

Deep & Persistent Sadness

Children with depression experience sadness that persists for two or more weeks. And it can be profound! They may have thoughts of suicide or talk about hurting themselves.

Learn more: 9 Warning Signs of Teen Suicide Parents Need to Know

Problems at School

Have you recently noticed a decline in your child’s school performance? Kids confronting depression often have a hard time concentrating, making decisions, and can be quicker to anger or emotional outbursts.

Be on the watch for a sudden drop in grades, school refusal, and new behavioral issues cropping up.

Changes in Weight or Eating Habits

Has your child recently lost or gained weight? Significant fluctuations in body size or sudden changes in eating habits may signify depression.

A Shift in Sleep Patterns

Have you noticed a change in your child’s sleep patterns? Maybe they’re struggling to fall asleep, waking in the middle of the night, or even sleeping far more than usual?

Depression can impact kids’ rest and wake cycles. So, pay attention to sudden shifts in your child’s sleep routine. It may be a sign that something more is going on.

Changes in Mood & Behavior

Does it feel like your child’s demeanor changed overnight? Take notice if they’ve suddenly developed a more negative attitude or are expressing feelings of hopelessness, guilt, or worthlessness. And if they seem more agitated, irritable, or are quicker to get upset, it could also be a sign of depression.

Decrease in Self-Esteem

Does your once confident kid now seem to need frequent reassurance? A marked decrease in self-esteem is frequently an indicator of depression. Children with the condition tend to think negatively and very critically about themselves.

Withdrawal

Kids experiencing depression will frequently withdraw socially from friends and family. So, pay attention if your child no longer wants to participate in activities they once enjoyed.

Physical Pain

Depression is more than emotional pain—symptoms can frequently manifest physically. So look out for persistent fatigue, frequent headaches, stomach aches, or any other sudden unexplained discomfort. And remember, it’s essential to rule out underlying medical conditions with a doctor.

We’re Here to Help!

Do any of the signs and symptoms above sound familiar? Yellowstone Boys and Girls Ranch (YBGR) provides a wide range of wraparound mental health services designed to help kids heal. Contact us online to get a child support today.

Want More?

Did you find this article helpful? If so, check out the rest of our blog and follow us on social media. You can find us on LinkedIn at Yellowstone Boys and Girls Ranch, Instagram at @ybgr_cares, and Facebook at Yellowstone Boys and Girls Ranch.

What’s active listening? You close your mouth and let the other person speak. Right?

Not quite. There’s more to it than that.

How to Practice Active Listening

Here’s a guide to active listening inspired by the book, The Empathetic Workplace by Katharine Manning, that you can draw on for trauma-informed conversations in and out of the workplace.

Encouragement

Make brief and gentle sounds such as “ahh” & “got it” to encourage the other person to continue their story, ensuring it’s subtle and keeps the focus on them.

Eye contact

Where we focus is what we care about. That said, read the other party—if they refuse to make eye contact, it could signal they are uncomfortable, and you should follow suit.

Mirroring

We mimic the body language of the person we’re speaking with when we are fully engaged. Doing it too much can be creepy, but a subtle nod to it will create ease in a conversation.

Looping

Repeat what the other person says as closely as possible to their exact words.

Clarification

Seeking clarification shows the other person you are listening, and ensures you understand what they’re saying.

Ask open-ended questions

Typically, open-ended questions begin with what, where, when, and why and are a great way to kick-start a conversation if the speaker peters out or, conversely, get it back on track if they are heading off on a tangent.

If they’re triggered, you will notice they either become emphatic, and the conversation will become less productive, or they will shut down and stop talking altogether.

Read demeanor

Be mindful that when someone shares a story of trauma, it can be re-traumatizing—back off if it appears that responding to questions is difficult and allow a break if needed.

Body language

Keep body language loose and calm, maintaining an open stance while facing the other person. Be careful not to look down, out the window, or at their hands.

Want more?

Check out the rest of our blog and follow us on social media. You can find us on LinkedIn at Yellowstone Boys and Girls Ranch, Instagram at @ybgr_cares, and Facebook at Yellowstone Boys and Girls Ranch.

Anxiety is one of the most common mental health challenges children face—impacting roughly 10% of kids in the United States. As a parent or caregiver, knowing what to look for can help you step in early, offer support, and get your child the help they need to thrive.

Below are six signs of anxiety in children that are easy to miss but important to recognize.

Signs of Anxiety in Kids

Excessive Worry

Kids with anxiety often worry more than what seems reasonable for the situation. They might constantly fear getting sick, being separated from a parent, or doing poorly in school—even when there’s no clear cause for concern.

These worries can feel overwhelming, and your child may not be able to turn them off, no matter how much reassurance you provide.

Physical Symptoms

Anxiety doesn’t just live in the mind—it often shows up in the body.

Stomachaches, headaches, fatigue, muscle tension, and even rapid breathing can all be signs of underlying anxiety, especially if your child experiences them frequently or in response to stressful situations.

Avoidance Behaviors

Kids sometimes cope with anxiety by avoiding the things that trigger it. This might look like refusing to go to school, avoiding social situations, or quitting an activity they used to enjoy. While avoidance can bring immediate relief, it reinforces the fear in the long run and can make anxiety worse over time.

Sleep Disturbances

Anxiety can interfere with sleep in many ways. Kids may have trouble falling asleep because of racing thoughts or wake during the night from bad dreams.

Over time, poor sleep can worsen anxiety and affect mood, concentration, and behavior during the day.

Irritability

It’s not always obvious, but irritability can be a symptom of anxiety. Kids who are anxious may seem cranky, easily frustrated, or quick to anger. These emotional outbursts aren’t just about behavior—they’re often a sign that your child is feeling overwhelmed and unsure how to express it.

Difficulty Concentrating

When kids are anxious, it can be hard to focus. They might struggle to stay on task, follow instructions, or finish homework. You might notice they seem distracted or forgetful, especially when stress is high.

These challenges can be especially tough in school, where performance anxiety can feed into a cycle of frustration and self-doubt.

When to Get Help

If you’ve noticed some of these signs and they’re starting to interfere with your child’s daily life, it may be time to reach out for support. Anxiety is treatable—and with the right tools and guidance, kids can learn to manage it and feel more in control.

Yellowstone Boys and Girls Ranch (YBGR) provides a wide range of wraparound mental health services designed to help kids heal. Contact us online to get a child support today.

Want More?

Check out the rest of our blog and follow us on social media. You can find us on LinkedIn at Yellowstone Boys and Girls Ranch, Instagram at @ybgr_cares, and Facebook at Yellowstone Boys and Girls Ranch.

Has your heart ever hurt? Chances are, the answer is yes. Very few of us make it through life unscathed by a painful experience. In fact, surveys show that trauma is a nearly universal venture, with over 80% of Americans laying claim to it.

And the road to resilience is a profound one. Below are thirteen quotes illustrating the path from hurt to healing.

Quotes on Hurt & Healing

Hurt people, hurt people. Only healing ends the cycle.

Quote: If you never heal from what hurt you, you’ll bleed on people who didn’t cut you. – Tamara Kulish

The pain we carry makes it difficult to trust and form healthy relationships.

Quote: I push people away because I’m afraid I might not heal again if I get hurt. I push them away and paint my walls so good they can’t recognize me anymore. I don’t give people a chance. – Inspired by Bisma Ijaz

Left unaddressed, it can lead to sadness and manifest as anger towards ourselves and others.

Quote: Someone said, “anger is sadness that has had nowhere to go for a very long time,” and I’ll never forget that. – Unknown

And that anger, fueled by hurt, can creep out in some unsavory ways.

Quote: A person begging for their humanity to be acknowledged can sound an awful lot like rage. – Kalen Dion

Pain clouds the lens we use to interpret the world around us.