What does it mean to parent when triggered? Often, our kids meet us with big emotions and behaviors that can stretch us and activate an in-kind response, particularly when we’re stressed or worn thin.

And at that moment, we’re challenged to slow down. To create space between our reaction and response so we can respond in love.

Below are fourteen quotes to help you with parenting when triggered.

Quotes on Parenting When Triggered

Quote 1: Kids don’t “make” us yell. They reveal to us where we have room to grow, where we have wounds to heal, and where we still have unresolved trauma from our own childhoods. – Inspired by Shelly Robinson

Quote 2: When the milk is splattered all over the floor, and those little eyes are looking at you for your reaction, remember what really matters. It takes 5 minutes to clean up spilled milk; it takes much longer to clean up a broken spirit. – Rebecca Eanes

Quote 3: Unless there is a risk of your child hurting themselves and you need to step in, when your child is having a meltdown or “tantrum,” your first step should be to calm yourself down. Very rarely does effective parenting happen when you are triggered, angry, or stressed. – @australianpsychologist

Quote 4: Your capacity to have empathy for your child in difficult moments is directly related to your capacity to have empathy for yourself in difficult moments. – @drnicolebeurken

Quote 5: In the heat of the moment, first, attend to how your child’s behavior makes you feel, so you can then attend to how your child feels without the interference of your own emotions. – @dr.siggie

Quote 6: When I calm myself first, I protect my kids from things that have nothing to do with their behavior. – Inspired by Dr. David Erickson

Quote 7: When your child is having a meltdown, your number one priority is to stay in control of your own emotions. – @dr.siggie

Quote 8: Your child’s state of reactivity will often mirror your own state of reactivity. – Inspired by Caley Kukla

Quote 9: Meeting a child’s hostility with adult aggression only adds fuel to the fire. To extinguish hostile behavior, meet it with calm and compassion. – Rebecca Eanes

Quote 10: It doesn’t make sense that adults lose control with children for losing control. And then expect children to be able to control themselves when the adult in front of them can’t even control themselves. – Inspired by Jessica Martin-Weber

Quote 11: My kids aren’t to blame for triggering me, pushing my buttons, or driving me up the wall. It’s on me to work through those triggers, remove those buttons, and tear down the wall instead of expecting my kids to change their behavior before I change mine. – Inspired by Iris Chen

Quote 12: If we want our kids to stop and think before reacting, then we need to show them how. That means we need to practice pausing, keeping ourselves regulated, and then responding—not just with them, but in all areas of life. – @drnicolebeurken

Quote 13: Peaceful parenting isn’t about your ability to stop feeling what you feel. It’s about separating your feelings from your actions. Letting the feelings come. Acknowledging them. Letting them go. Then responding with intention. – @loveandletgrow

Quote 14: Respond to children with the same connection and empathy for all their behaviors, and they’ll know your love isn’t conditional. That’s how you become their “safe space.” – Sarah R. Moore

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Trauma-informed communication isn’t just about what we say—it’s about how we say it. It’s about presence, intention, and connection, especially in moments that feel charged or difficult.

That’s where L.O.V.E. comes in.

It’s a simple framework that reminds us to slow down and center ourselves when communicating—whether with kids, colleagues, or loved ones. And in high-stress moments, that pause can make all the difference.

The L.O.V.E. Approach to Trauma-Informed Communication

When emotions run high, try using the L.O.V.E. approach:

L – Listen (“I hear you.”)

Give your full attention. Put away distractions, pause your inner dialogue, and truly listen—without interrupting or planning your response. Feeling heard is the foundation of connection.

O – Observe (“I see you.”)

Notice more than words. Body language, tone, and facial expressions often speak louder. Observation helps us tune in to what might be happening beneath the surface.

V – Validate (“I accept you.”)

Validation isn’t agreement—it’s acknowledgment. It means recognizing someone’s feelings as real and important, even if you don’t fully understand or share them.

E – Empathize (“I understand you.”)

Empathy invites us to step into another’s shoes and connect with their experience. It’s how we show care, build trust, and respond rather than react.

Learn More: 15 Quotes on Communicating with Empathy

Slow Down to Strengthen Connection

We can avoid so many problems when we respond with L.O.V.E. instead of reacting in haste.

In trauma-informed communication, timing matters. When emotions are high, it’s okay—even wise—to pause. Whether you’re parenting, leading a team, or resolving conflict with a friend, take a moment to check in with yourself before diving into tough conversations.

Give yourself permission to delay. The goal isn’t just to get through it—it’s to move forward in a way that builds connection, not tension.

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A recent study by Cigna found that more than 50% of Americans experience loneliness, and 54% say they don’t have anyone in their lives who truly knows them.

In today’s fast-paced world, building meaningful relationships isn’t always easy—but it’s essential for both mental and physical health.

If you’re looking for practical ways to feel more connected, here are four simple strategies to help you create stronger, healthier bonds with others.

#1: Spend Time with the People Who Matter

In the busyness of everyday life, it’s easy to overlook the people who mean the most. But even fifteen minutes of intentional time with someone you care about can have a powerful impact.

Prioritize presence.

#2: Eliminate Distractions

To truly connect, be all in. Put down your phone, turn off notifications, and focus on who you’re with. We build meaningful relationships when we listen fully and show others they matter.

#3: Embrace Solitude to Strengthen Self-Connection

To connect deeply with others, we must first know ourselves. Spend time alone in ways that feel fulfilling, whether it’s walking in nature, journaling, or listening to music.

A healthy relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other connection.

#4: Be Kind—and Take the First Step

Kindness creates space for trust. Share encouragement, check in on someone, or offer help when it’s needed. Strong relationships grow when we let others know they’re seen and valued.

Building meaningful relationships takes effort, but it’s worth it. Small steps can lead to deeper, more fulfilling connections with others and with yourself.

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Empathy is more than kindness—it’s the ability to understand and share in what someone else is feeling. Whether you’re leading a team, raising a child, or simply navigating day-to-day interactions, communicating with empathy builds trust, eases tension, and strengthens relationships.

Below are 15 quotes to inspire deeper connection through communication with care.

How to Connect with Empathy

Quote 1: It’s extremely powerful to hear someone say, “I get you. I understand. I see why you feel this way.” This kind of empathy disarms us. – Inspired by Daniel J. Siegel

Quote 2: People will hear you better if you speak from a voice of compassion instead of authority. They long to be understood more than to be lectured. – Inspired by Dodinsky

Quote 3: Sometimes, the most influential thing we can do is listen. – Bob Burg

Quote 4: What does it mean to “hold space” for someone else? It means that we are willing to walk alongside another person in whatever journey they’re on without judging them, making them feel inadequate, trying to fix them, or trying to impact the outcome. When we hold space for other people, we open our hearts, offer unconditional support, and let go of judgment and control. – Unknown

Quote 5: Connection: The power that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued. – Brene Brown

Quote 6: When someone is struggling, they already know. They don’t need advice. They don’t need solutions. They don’t need judgment. What they need are a smile and grace. And to be reminded that the person behind the battle can still be loved. – Lauren Fortenberry

Quote 7: Empathy has no script. There is no right way or wrong way to do it. It’s simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message “you’re not alone.” – Brene Brown

Quote 8: I judge others less when I judge myself less. – Unknown

Quote 9: When someone shares a difficult situation they are facing, don’t respond as though life is simple and there’s an easy solution. Life is complex, and often there are no simple solutions. – Rachel Samson

Quote 10: What people of all ages can use in a moment of distress is not agreement or disagreement; they need someone to recognize what it is they’re experiencing. – Adele Faber

Quote 11: Trauma happens and harms us. But I often wonder if the worst trauma is the second wave—when your story is disbelieved, mistrusted, and maligned. May your story find safe harbor in the presence of people who will honor both your vulnerability and resilience. – @kjramseywrites

Quote 12: To empathize with someone’s experience, you must be willing to believe them as they see it and not how you imagine their experience to be. – Brene Brown

Quote 13: Client: I know I probably shouldn’t have these feelings. Therapist: What you are feeling in this situation is perfectly okay. – Rachel Samson

Quote 14: Do not try to reason with someone who is not regulated. – Inspired by Rachel Samson

Quote 15: One of the most effective strategies for regulating emotion is cultivating an attitude of acceptance towards your emotions and the emotions of others. – Rachel Samson

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Want to give your kids a strong foundation for life? Parenting with empathy is linked to everything from healthy attachment to emotional intelligence and solid relationship skills!

But it’s not always easy, particularly when we’re stressed or our children display challenging behaviors. Below are sixteen quotes to help you master parenting with empathy.

Quotes to Guide You in Parenting with Empathy

Quote 1: When we don’t understand a behavior, we tend to assume a child is doing it on purpose. – @raisinghumankind

Quote 2: The more we can look underneath a child’s behavior to understand it, the more compassion we’ll have. – Unknown

Quote 3: Beneath every behavior, there is a feeling. And beneath each feeling is a need. And when we meet that need rather than focus on the behavior, we begin to deal with the cause, not the symptom. – Ashleigh Warner

Quote 4: When a child is upset, logic often won’t work until we have responded to the right brain’s emotional needs. – Dr. Dan Siegel

Quote 5: When kids believe your first goal is to empathize and understand rather than to admonish and correct, you leave the door open for future conversations. – Philip Daniel De Jesus

Quote 6: Kids will hear you better if you speak from a voice of compassion instead of authority. They long to be understood more than to be lectured. – Inspired by Dodinsky

Quote 7: Our kids want us to give them a safe space to process their hard feelings more than they want us to fix all their problems. – Shelly Robinson

Quote 8: As a parent, the coolest tool I learned a while back was when one of my kids started complaining to me about something was to say, “do you need me to get involved, offer advice, or just listen?” 9/10, they just want my ear. – Inspired by Tobias Buckell

Quote 9: It’s crucial to keep in mind that no matter how nonsensical and frustrating our child’s feelings may seem to us, they are real and important to our child. It’s vital that we treat them as such in our response. – Daniel J. Siegel

Quote 10: What people of all ages can use in a moment of distress is not agreement or disagreement; they need someone to recognize what it is they’re experiencing. – Adele Faber

Quote 11: Children don’t need to have their feelings agreed with; they need to have them acknowledged. The more you try to push their unhappy feelings away, the more they become stuck in them. The more comfortable you can be accepting the bad feelings, the easier it is for kids to let them go. – Inspired by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish

Quote 12: Sometimes parents avoid talking about upsetting experiences, thinking that doing so will reinforce their children’s pain or make things worse. But telling the story is often exactly what children need to make sense of the event and move on to a place where they can feel better about what happened. – Unknown

Quote 13: By acknowledging our children’s emotions, we are helping them learn skills for soothing themselves, skills that will serve them well for a lifetime. – John Gottman, Ph.D.

Quote 14: The goal is for children to express their wants and needs with us openly. That doesn’t mean they always get what they want. It means they feel safe enough to share—even when the answer is no. – Inspired by @dr.siggie

Quote 15: The next time you lock horns with your child and tempers are flaring, remember this… It is likely a head-on collision of both parent and child not feeling seen or heard in that moment. As the adult with more power and resources, it is our job to recognize this and remove our egos from the equation so we can parent from a place of calm, curiosity, and compassion. – Shelly Robinson

Quote 16: Don’t normalize pain or neglect by refusing to be a safe haven for your child because the “real world won’t coddle them when they grow up.” Show them what love and respect look like so they’ll recognize when they’re being mistreated. – Amanda Erickson

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Parenting a foster child with trauma history can be challenging.

Trauma profoundly influences brain development, impacting children’s behaviors, ability to regulate emotions, and even their capacity to form healthy relationships.

And for many, it’s coupled with attachment issues, rooted in everything from abuse and neglect early on in life to repeated moves due to broken-down placements.

Here are some signs that may indicate a child is struggling with attachment.

Parenting children with attachment issues rooted in a history of trauma can be a formidable task. To put it simply—it’s not easy to be a foster parent.

But the work is so critical. The bonds foster parents build with kids help them heal and serve as the foundation for healthy connections in adulthood.

We want to guide you on the path to parenting kids with trauma history. So, here are a few tips to help build trust and influence children’s behavior.

Tips on Parenting Kids with a History of Trauma

Meet Needs

Your #1 goal is to find out your foster child’s needs and meet them. And the best way to find out is to ask. When doing so, be direct, using exact language. For example, “What’s going on?” “What are your needs?” “How can I support you?”

Say “Yes”

Kids in foster care have little power over their lives. So, often that manifests in a desire for control.

You can go miles when it comes to building trust with children by focusing on dishing out “yes” more than “no.” The optimal ratio is 7:1, saying “yes” 7 times for every “no.”

Make Eye Contact

Our eyes speak louder than words.

Nonverbal cues are critical components of communication, especially for kids with trauma history. As often as possible, get on your foster child’s eye level when speaking to them.

Mirror Behavior

Be a mirror. Secure attachment is characterized by a healthy rhythm between children and their caregiver’s behavior. For instance, if a baby coos, their mother will coo back, or when a toddler laughs, their father laughs too.

Congruent behaviors build trust and attachment.

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