A 2020 survey by the CDC found that 1 in 4 young adults has considered suicide. More than half of us have been touched by it in some way. Globally, suicide claims more lives than war, murder, and natural disasters combined.

September is Suicide Prevention Month, and we’re exploring suicide risk factors.

Below is Alexandra Valoras’ story, told in her family’s words. Alexandra was a straight-A student, class officer, and robotics whiz. Her death is a heartbreaking reminder that even those who seem to be thriving can be at risk.

Understanding suicide risk factors helps us see what isn’t always visible on the surface.

Risk Factors

Research shows there isn’t one single cause of suicide—it’s often the result of multiple risk factors coming together.

Prior suicide attempts

For every death by suicide, there are an estimated 25 attempts.

Mental health conditions

According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, 90% of people who die by suicide had a diagnosable mental health condition.

• Depression: Up to 60% of those who die by suicide experience clinical depression.
• Bipolar disorder: 1 in 5 people with bipolar disorder will die by suicide.
• Schizophrenia: Up to 13% of people with schizophrenia die by suicide.

Lack of access to mental health care

Without treatment, the risk of suicide rises significantly.

Substance misuse

Drugs and alcohol can impair judgment and increase impulsivity.

Prolonged stress

Harassment, bullying, relationship struggles, or unemployment elevate risk.

Significant life events

Divorce, financial crisis, grief, or major transitions (such as retirement) can heighten vulnerability.

Social isolation

Loneliness has been shown to increase risk for depression, anxiety, and premature death—rivaling the risks of smoking, obesity, and inactivity.

Chronic or terminal illness

Roughly 10% of suicides are linked to serious health conditions.

Access to lethal means

85% of suicide attempts with a gun are fatal, compared to 4% using other methods. Safe firearm storage is a key protective measure for youth.

Recent loss by suicide

Losing a friend or loved one to suicide can increase personal risk.

Protective Factors

Protective factors are personal or environmental characteristics that reduce risk and help people cope with life’s challenges.

Below are several protective factors that can mitigate risk of suicide.

• Access to effective behavioral health care
• Strong connections with family, friends, and community
• Life skills such as problem-solving, coping, and ability to adapt to change
• Self-esteem and a sense of meaning or purpose in life
• Cultural, religious, or personal beliefs that discourage suicide

What to Do if Someone Is Struggling

If you’re concerned about someone, don’t be afraid to ask directly about suicide. You won’t “put the idea” in their head—many people feel relief when someone cares enough to ask.

If someone shares that they’re considering suicide:

• Stay with them if they have immediate plans and means.
• Take them to the emergency room to be evaluated by a mental health professional.
• Call 911 if they’re in immediate danger.

Learn More: How to Talk to Someone About Suicide

If Your Child Is Struggling

Help is here. We provide mental health support for youth and families across Montana. Contact us here to get help for your child.

Learn More: 9 Warning Signs of Teen Suicide Parents Need to Know

If You’re Struggling

You don’t have to carry the weight alone. Reach out to a trusted friend or family member, and don’t hesitate to call 988 to connect with the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Support is just a call away.

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What does it mean to parent when triggered? Often, our kids meet us with big emotions and behaviors that can stretch us and activate an in-kind response, particularly when we’re stressed or worn thin.

And at that moment, we’re challenged to slow down. To create space between our reaction and response so we can respond in love.

Below are fourteen quotes to help you with parenting when triggered.

Quotes on Parenting When Triggered

Quote 1: Kids don’t “make” us yell. They reveal to us where we have room to grow, where we have wounds to heal, and where we still have unresolved trauma from our own childhoods. – Inspired by Shelly Robinson

Quote 2: When the milk is splattered all over the floor, and those little eyes are looking at you for your reaction, remember what really matters. It takes 5 minutes to clean up spilled milk; it takes much longer to clean up a broken spirit. – Rebecca Eanes

Quote 3: Unless there is a risk of your child hurting themselves and you need to step in, when your child is having a meltdown or “tantrum,” your first step should be to calm yourself down. Very rarely does effective parenting happen when you are triggered, angry, or stressed. – @australianpsychologist

Quote 4: Your capacity to have empathy for your child in difficult moments is directly related to your capacity to have empathy for yourself in difficult moments. – @drnicolebeurken

Quote 5: In the heat of the moment, first, attend to how your child’s behavior makes you feel, so you can then attend to how your child feels without the interference of your own emotions. – @dr.siggie

Quote 6: When I calm myself first, I protect my kids from things that have nothing to do with their behavior. – Inspired by Dr. David Erickson

Quote 7: When your child is having a meltdown, your number one priority is to stay in control of your own emotions. – @dr.siggie

Quote 8: Your child’s state of reactivity will often mirror your own state of reactivity. – Inspired by Caley Kukla

Quote 9: Meeting a child’s hostility with adult aggression only adds fuel to the fire. To extinguish hostile behavior, meet it with calm and compassion. – Rebecca Eanes

Quote 10: It doesn’t make sense that adults lose control with children for losing control. And then expect children to be able to control themselves when the adult in front of them can’t even control themselves. – Inspired by Jessica Martin-Weber

Quote 11: My kids aren’t to blame for triggering me, pushing my buttons, or driving me up the wall. It’s on me to work through those triggers, remove those buttons, and tear down the wall instead of expecting my kids to change their behavior before I change mine. – Inspired by Iris Chen

Quote 12: If we want our kids to stop and think before reacting, then we need to show them how. That means we need to practice pausing, keeping ourselves regulated, and then responding—not just with them, but in all areas of life. – @drnicolebeurken

Quote 13: Peaceful parenting isn’t about your ability to stop feeling what you feel. It’s about separating your feelings from your actions. Letting the feelings come. Acknowledging them. Letting them go. Then responding with intention. – @loveandletgrow

Quote 14: Respond to children with the same connection and empathy for all their behaviors, and they’ll know your love isn’t conditional. That’s how you become their “safe space.” – Sarah R. Moore

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Trauma-informed communication isn’t just about what we say—it’s about how we say it. It’s about presence, intention, and connection, especially in moments that feel charged or difficult.

That’s where L.O.V.E. comes in.

It’s a simple framework that reminds us to slow down and center ourselves when communicating—whether with kids, colleagues, or loved ones. And in high-stress moments, that pause can make all the difference.

The L.O.V.E. Approach to Trauma-Informed Communication

When emotions run high, try using the L.O.V.E. approach:

L – Listen (“I hear you.”)

Give your full attention. Put away distractions, pause your inner dialogue, and truly listen—without interrupting or planning your response. Feeling heard is the foundation of connection.

O – Observe (“I see you.”)

Notice more than words. Body language, tone, and facial expressions often speak louder. Observation helps us tune in to what might be happening beneath the surface.

V – Validate (“I accept you.”)

Validation isn’t agreement—it’s acknowledgment. It means recognizing someone’s feelings as real and important, even if you don’t fully understand or share them.

E – Empathize (“I understand you.”)

Empathy invites us to step into another’s shoes and connect with their experience. It’s how we show care, build trust, and respond rather than react.

Learn More: 15 Quotes on Communicating with Empathy

Slow Down to Strengthen Connection

We can avoid so many problems when we respond with L.O.V.E. instead of reacting in haste.

In trauma-informed communication, timing matters. When emotions are high, it’s okay—even wise—to pause. Whether you’re parenting, leading a team, or resolving conflict with a friend, take a moment to check in with yourself before diving into tough conversations.

Give yourself permission to delay. The goal isn’t just to get through it—it’s to move forward in a way that builds connection, not tension.

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A recent study by Cigna found that more than 50% of Americans experience loneliness, and 54% say they don’t have anyone in their lives who truly knows them.

In today’s fast-paced world, building meaningful relationships isn’t always easy—but it’s essential for both mental and physical health.

If you’re looking for practical ways to feel more connected, here are four simple strategies to help you create stronger, healthier bonds with others.

#1: Spend Time with the People Who Matter

In the busyness of everyday life, it’s easy to overlook the people who mean the most. But even fifteen minutes of intentional time with someone you care about can have a powerful impact.

Prioritize presence.

#2: Eliminate Distractions

To truly connect, be all in. Put down your phone, turn off notifications, and focus on who you’re with. We build meaningful relationships when we listen fully and show others they matter.

#3: Embrace Solitude to Strengthen Self-Connection

To connect deeply with others, we must first know ourselves. Spend time alone in ways that feel fulfilling, whether it’s walking in nature, journaling, or listening to music.

A healthy relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other connection.

#4: Be Kind—and Take the First Step

Kindness creates space for trust. Share encouragement, check in on someone, or offer help when it’s needed. Strong relationships grow when we let others know they’re seen and valued.

Building meaningful relationships takes effort, but it’s worth it. Small steps can lead to deeper, more fulfilling connections with others and with yourself.

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